How does one cope with the loss of dreams while supporting the present situation of taking care of a home, ill husband, balancing a check book, paying bills, being there for your children and take care of yourself?

I'm so glad you are reaching out. This is your first step in taking care of yourself. Please understand your feelings are very normal, so don't feel guilty. Talking with others who feel the same will help ease some of the guilt.

If your husband has to have someone with him all the time (that time will come, if it hasn't), you need to look for respite care through your aging services or your faith community or Senior Companions. You need to get away and have some fun on your own. That won't heal the broken dreams. Acceptance of what is will help, but that takes time, and most people will rail against it for awhile. Once you accept where you are and that the dreams are not going to happen the way your thought, you will be able to move on and find new things that make you happy. But you are grieving and that is normal. Please keep talking.

Carol

Hello everyone. My husband was diagnosed with pd in 2005 and is now in stage 3 of symptoms discribed in the Our Community section of this site. I am so afraid. I feel so lost and alone. This has changed the complete dynamics of our lives. We looked forward to our children growing up and the freedom of traveling and dancing in the moonlight. That has now changed due to this disease. I feel like it has robbed us of our plans. I've heard the expression if you want to make God laugh, just tell him what your plans are. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way. After all I'm not the one experiencing the symptoms, yet for every pain and disapointment he feels, I feel it too. I can't seem to find escape. I don't always want to share my feelings with him because I don't want him to feel like he is a burden to me. He is not....I love him with all my heart, but I have to be strong on every front of my life. I can't go to work and fall apart...although I have. Our relationships with others have changed because they are not sure how to treat him. The last gathering we went to he didn't talk to anyone for four hours. I was devastated. I realized then that our social life would never be the same. That is a hard reality since we have always been very social people. This is the first time I have even tried to put my feelings out for someone to see. I don't mean to ramble, but that's how my mind is. A series of interrupted thoughts. How does one cope with the lost of dreams while supporting the present situation of taking care of a home, ill husband, balancing a check book, paying bills, being there for your children and take care of yourself? I feel like I'm doing a juggling act and I'm about to drop the balls.

Tell me please how to find balance. How do I take care of me?

Help!

so sorry to hear your situation,i'm sure you will get some good advice from the folks on this site,at least some comforting and understanding which helps a whole lot.maybe ask the experts on this matter.

Thank you Carol. I never really thought of it as grieving, but it really is a very accurate way of how I feel.

Thank you again for your words of encouragement. I never realized how many people's lives have been affected so greatly because of a love one's unexpected health crisis. I'm glad that although many respondents have their own lives and situations, they feel compelled to take time to encourage me to be strong.

Well let me tell you.......It worked.

Take Care Carol, and please stay in touch.

BBD