Mom was recently diagnosed as having a "Personality Disorder." I'm wondering what this means, and where we go from here?

A "personality disorder" is a mental health issue, and a serious one. If there was a sudden change in her personality, it's possible dementia is involved and she then needs to see someone who will test her for that. If this isn't sudden, maybe the diagnosis is correct. They will likely try counseling and medication.

So, please ask yourself, how did change become evident to you? When did it start? If no dementia tests were given, I'd strongly suggest that those tests be done, including a PET scan. Medications would be different for the two diseases.

Take care,
Carol

My mother has BPD. I always thought she was just plain crazy. It was good to be able to put a name to it. Growing up in her home was not fun. Now she lives in my home. I am her caregiver. It is difficult to say the least. But I have learned how to deal with her.
As time goes by it gets better, not because she has changed but because I have changed. My mother has always been the queen of guilt trips but I don't allow them to wound me anymore. You see, we do the best we can as our mother's daughters. We are the product of their upbringing. But we can rise above that, with prayer, and care for them better then they ever cared for us. Except her as she is and forgive her.

Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, and the waste of spirit.

If you mean Borderline personality disorder I"m surprised it would have taken her this long to be diagnosed. BP's are chameleons - with chaotic lives. They lie. They are sugary sweet and charming to some, hateful to others. Its always drama and all about them. They fear abandonment and can be incredibly vindictive if they feel threatened

There is a good book called Walking on Eggshells and lots of info on the internet.

Sometimes starting your drive with a smooth sounding CD, or Rev, Vincent Peale's CD on The Power of Positive Thinking is a great way to set the tone and your expectations for your drive time. If Mom acts up as she normally does, verbally re-direct her attention to the music, and/or message If neither of those are of interest, a book on CD that is simple to follow, maybe a biography, or Anything not too fast-paced may help to slow your Mom's thinking down and help to mentally transport her elsewhere instead of becoming stuck.

My pleasure, SecretSister. I also enjoy Deepak Chopra's narrative CD's. I am a believer in prayer and spirituality that transcends all religious denominations, though I will always remain true to my Christian beliefs. For those of us who are believers in God and prayers, there is a saying to the effect that prayer always changes things, even if it's only me.

Matters not to me what changes, as I can tell it matters not to you when you say that it may be a positive focus for you.

I promise you that much of a shift in focus will occur, if only for you. Even if that is all that happens, imagine the peace and serenity that is yours regardless of where your Mom may remain psychologically and emotionally speaking, albeit no fault of her own.

Blessings and peace to you with your beautiful and patient caregiving Spirit, SecretSister. It is already well within your soul, I can tell, in terms of your soul searching and seeking. Keep right on doing what you're doing. You will never become stuck as long as you are a searcher for truth and peace. Hugs.

My pleasure, SecretSister! That's what friends are for. To God be the Glory, indeed. My Dad used to say that we have God and we have each other. That always sticks with me in times of life challenges. We are never alone; just takes eyes of faith to see, and to "be still, and know...."

What a beautiful tribute to sunshine in your Spirit, yearight. I agree with you. We are free to rejoice, free to celebrate and free to release and share our painful and stressful moments. Life happens. Sounds like we are all making the best of it. How uplifting! God bless us all. SecretSister, I sure do look forward to being reunited with Dad, and our other loved ones who have earned theri eternal rest. I enjoy my life, challenges and all, so I only have hope in my heart for eternity. The choppy moments of this life eventually fade away. Nothing on this earth is permanent. Why should my stress and worry be permanent when everything else is but for a season?

Dear yearight, I researched a little on BPD, and found it enlightening. A 100% BPD would be scary. I am skeptical of the whole Psychological system, (as they play God, and don't necessary believe in him), but attribute people's problems to outside influences (such as parenting and genetics). If one doesn't believe in God, they will never blame problems on personal choice (sin) or find a way to reconcile it or change themselves. I believe in hereditary. I believe we inherited a sin nature when Adam fell, and without God's provision, can never change. I think a person controlled by their father, the devil, will display ungodly, and often satanic behaviors. (Read about unclean spirits, crying & cutting in Mark). James talks about war, fighting, lusts, envy and enmity, which is also satanic.) God is the answer, and I doubt people will find lasting change or hope outside of him. All the Psychologists and Psychiatrists in the world can't help a person who lives in darkness and cannot understand the reason and wisdom light provides. Christ is the only answer. My Mom is foolishly lost, and cannot comprehend it. She chooses to follow blind and vain persons, and will remain one...unless she embraces the One who can help ~ the great Physician, who is God. All the labels in the world pale in comparison to God's truth and plan. Satan fools people into thinking otherwise. I know this from personal experience. His amazing grace saved a wretch like me, and set my feet on the solid rock of Christ. Without him, we are all as an unclean thing, eternally lost, and without hope. My Mom doesn't know that, so all I can do is pray, and try to point her to him. I'd appreciate your prayers in this matter, too. Thank you.

It is hard to see our own loved one get worse in heath right in front of our own eyes. I my self have been on medication for my nerves. I have been looking over mom from 1996, she was not bad then with the Alzheimers/diementia it takes time and is not notice at first.But I did notice a difference in her behvior and living ways. It took a while for any one to listen. So many visits from Florida to New York due to falls and eye surgery, broken hips. However I did learn one thing you must take care of yourself first. So you can help mom, you will notice things changing before any one even her own doctor. And when a doctor is called in they can trick the doctors with answers, and seem normal to ousiders even on the phone. You yourself know your own mom. There are programs that will take the elderly to doctors appoinment and treatments at no cost. get with social services and elder care they can help you. Take care of your self and bless you in your time of crazy things going on around you. patrica61