Can we ask the nursing home staff to stop spoon feeding my mother-in-law when she's unresponsive?

Ideally, there is a living will or health directive. That would be very useful here. The home is likely doing what they need to do until they have doctor's orders to do otherwise, but if she is unresponsive this seems wrong. A doctor needs to be notified.

Is your mother on hospice care? I'd highly recommend you look into that if she is not. They will be a big help in getting you through this.

Take care,
Carol

I'd have to see the patient here. "Unresponsive" could mean different things to different people. I personally would keep up the spoon-feeding as long as possible. The doctor should definitely be notified in case a feeding tube is ordered. This could be a nasal tube or a stomach tube. Keep trying the spoon first.

Unresponsive - does not open eyes, does not speak, they put spoon to mouth literally, she opens out of reflex. They prop her in wheelchair where she droops over. There is hospice. There is advanced directive. She does not ask for food. We have asked, why do you feed her - they respond it gives her comfort. She asked for NO unnecessary measures to keep her alive. She is 80. She is near death. Bedsores are starting. She weighs 85#.

If your mom is on hospice you can tell them to stop feeding her. Hospice care is palliative care not restorative care. i don't understand what is wrong with this particular hospice. They are setting her up for aspiration pneumonia by forcing her to swallow food when she is so weak. They SHOULD NOT be doing this. And forcing food on her is not comforting to her. She should also not be forced to sit in a chair. She should be left in bed and repositioned every hour.

Has a speech therapist done an assestment to see if she is really able to swallow they could put in an NG tube and feed her that they did for my husband years ago when he was mostly unresponsive but this last time he was in a comma which got deeper as the hours went on the days before we took him off lifesupport meds and would not have been able to swollow does her doc know how much it upsets you to see them feeding her in this manner and she should be on an air mattress and turned at least every two hrs if not more and a wound care nurse should be involved and nourishment can be given by IV's or a feeding tube would be better at this point.

This patient needs to be in a HOSPITAL, not a hospice, and not a nursing home. She needs to be under a physician's care.
Go up, not down on this patient. The nursing home doctor should recommend the transport to the hospital.