Do you charge "rent" for caring for an elderly parent?

Much depends on the parent's circumstance. If the parent would need care anyway and you can provide a home and care, there's no reason why a financial arrangement shouldn't be worked out. You should get it down in writing so there are no questions later if she needs to go on Medicaid. I'd go so far as to say an estate attorney may be a good idea, especially is she is getting frail or has limited income and may need Medicaid soon. Work it out legally, and you'll have less to worry about on the other end. But certainly, she would have to pay to live somewhere, and unless you have unlimited resources, some sort of compatible deal could work out for both of you.

Carol

I also meant to say I charge my mother 300.00 a month. This goes for groceries only. Her food stamps she spends on herself and this gives her 400 a month spend money I wish I had that much spend money every month but my father earned it, he is gone and I pay for everything including all his burial expenses which she didn't even offer to help with, neither did my siblings but when its her time to goe my siblings will be receiving a bill from the funeral home for a third of that expense My sister says i asked for it by binging them down to take care of them in thier old age and she and my brother distanced their selves from them because my mother is NPD I had made ammends with dad which comforts me but there is no such thing going to happen with my mother so I brought it all on myself, It just now took her 2 years and five months to screw up the courage to tell me that. In essence it is true but not very compassionate so I won't be sharing anything else with her.

I'm either seeing words that I can't believe, or I'm reading the texts of people who are so far off the understanding of the cycle of life that they have become mental paupers.
Of course you DO NOT CHARGE "RENT" for allowing a parent into your home to be cared for there. Did someone charge you "rent" when you were a helpless baby? It's the cycle of life. You come into this world DEPENDENT and someone takes care of you. You live with them. Children of the elderly, infirm or ill should take care of those cared for them. It's the cycle of life. Money arrangements are varied.........some elderly have their own money set aside for their care. Others DEPEND on their children. The tax code allows this in the document known as "Credit For the Elderly"........credit on their children's Return. In either event, caring for someone who cared for you is not only the right thing to do, it is an act of charity.
N1K2R3

Unless you have walked 10 thoudand miles in someone elses tennis shoes you have know right to judge what another does. some of us grew up poor and maybe not as a baby when our grandparents kept us till we were ready to go to school but as soon as we could work in the fields or old enough to get a full time job we paid rent every week 35.00 from 3 kids when rent for a three bedroom house was 35.00 a month or less, pay car payments that the car was reproduced because we had to have beer money, pay furniture bills that the furniture was sold so we could have beer money, we are not well to do and we have a home we are buying that is nothing spectacular so yes we CHARGE RENT !!!! NEONWOCKY

Thank you for the replies. Maybe 'Rent' was the wrong word. I am doing this because I love my mom. She would have to pay to live somewhere and pay someone to take her to the doctor and church. She would need someone to look in on her. Since she is with me, I do all those things. It would be a huge burden on our family if we had to pay for all that. The cycle of life is that I have children of my own that I am now paying for. It was not in the plan to add another house member to the mix. I only need her help not her life savings.

N1K2R3: Are you kidding? In a perfect world I would agree with you when all siblings share equally in the care. But when one is responsible for total care and the others do nothing to help for whatever reason (selfishness, laziness, out-of-town, career, etc), then it is only reasonable to be compensated. It is a lot work and a big responsibility.

The life cycle has changed and the elderly are living 20+ more years. Comparing babies and elderly parents as far as care is like comparing apples to bananas - it's just not that simple.

Look at it this way. What would they be doing without you? Anyone who says you should be doing it for free is heartless. It is a horrible job, even if you like your parent. You can love and do the right thing by caring for them event though they are not the nicest people in the world, like in my case, but theres' no way you should it for free. It would cost them thousands to be in a home, or they'd be on the government dole, so PLEASE continue to take money. Do NOT go into financial ruin because someone wants to make you feel guilty for taking a little "rent"? For heaven's sakes. Whoever says you should sacrifice your life for your parent has never taken care of a parent 24/7 with no help and constant complaining. Do it legally, but DO IT!!! WE split the household expanse three ways. My Mom can comfortably afford it and it seems fair to me. Our toilet paper, gas, Kleenex, water and food bill have all gone up. The money just about covers it and she has $800 a month left. If someone wants to be a door mat and get used, then let them. I agree, take the money, but make sure your Mom is aware of it and has agreed to it.

I highly recommend talking to an Eldercare Attorney. He/She can help you with what I call creative finances for elder care. I agree with Carol that if a parent needs care anyway, and you are providing that service, you should be compensated. My dad died and through the attorney I found out my mom qualified for VA benefits (aid and attendance). It helps to know what you can and can't do with their money.

Marie

Yes, my mother makes very little but still has to eat. she receives 700 a month ss, 46.00 a month in food stamps and this is documented in at medicaid when she has her annual revue. The rest I provide.

Not everyone can afford to have a parent with them and not use their money to defray the expenses of their care. Wish it were otherwise, but it is not! I can't judge others who have the same dilemma as I do. Without her input, we could never have brought her to our home.