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pilotdoggone Asked October 2009

I'm having a difficult time working full-time and trying to care for my mother who lives in senior housing. How can I cope?

I am working full time at 61 and trying to care for my almost 98 year old Mother who lives in Senior Housing.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Oct 2009
Is your mother on Medicaid? There may be some funding for some in-home caregiving. Check with Medicaid. Also, check your state's Web site under aging services to see what they offer.

Good luck You need some help.
Carol

ginger123 Oct 2009
Also you might speak with her doctor to see if she is eligible for a home health agency to see her. These agencies have several services that might be of help. Good luck.

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pilotdoggone Oct 2009
My Mother is on Medicare with a supplement and does receive a Home Health Aid 5 days a week. She has dementia (short term memory loss, repetitive speech) but is surprisingly healthy otherwise. She is forgetting to take her medication and is unable to pay her bills (I pay those). I am trying to get her on medicaid with the help of a the Coordinator in her Senior Apartment building.
I believe that she will need full time care soon and I am having a difficult time discussing a nursing home with her.
I am an only child, and have only the help of my Husband, so I am overwhelmed.

NancyH May 2010
Pilot, My mother-in-law also has short term memory issues, and repeats herself constantly. And she is pretty darn healthy, not counting the macular degeneration. I too pay all her bills. But just because her memory stinks, she can still think and decide for herself what she wants to do about things. So if your mother is anything like my m-i-l, then why can't you talk frankly about what she wants to do in the future? My mil has pretty much leveled out in the dementia dept. so we haven't had to talk beyond her living arrangements now at the asst living place she's in. It may or may not come to me having that same frank conversation with her about what she would like to do when/if she starts to need more care. But I WOULD ask her opinion while she's able to think reasonably, instead of waiting and feel guilty about the choice we made. At least that's what I will do...

ibarro May 2010
call her don't visit her everyday. a home attendant/ nurse's assistant can take care of her, so ask her doctor/ social service for assistance

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