My stepmother, 82, has dementia. Her daughter (mystepsister) has power of attorney. POA has numerous unpaid bills for which she is responsible, in the tens of thousands of dollars. I live in a different state than they. I suspect that my stepmother is being financially exploited by her daughter and see a need to step in, but do not know what to do or how to proceed. I have limited income and cannot afford expensive legal assistance. What else can I do to ensure that my stepmother is not financially exploited?
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Do you think I even stand a chance on doing something? DCF and Adult Protective Services are USELESS. The sheriff's department has been no help either. Why is this so rampant? What is wrong with our system for protecting the elderly.
No one cares when the Prince of Nigeria gets money.
No one cares when someone scams the deed to a house.
No one cares when someone gets an elder loved one to pay fake debts.
No one cares when older people lose their money to telemarketing scams.
No one cares when older people end up in the poor house because of fake investment schemes.
No one cares when older people get ripped off by fake sweepstakes and lottery scams.
There are hotlines and websites that purport to care but I have yet to encounter a single person who had any success recouping any money.
The only people who get back any money are the wealthy who get scammed by someone like Bernie Madoff. He had hundreds of victims. But when you're just another ordinary person, no one cares.
If you had the resources to fight the daughter I would suggest taking her to court. But you don't so, sadly, my suggestion to you is let it go.
How can I report this without them knowing it was me? My half-sister hates all of us and will retaliate in ways you have no idea about. Help!!
Oh yes... my Aunt has been diagnosed with dementia.
You are so right about family crime like this being ignored by law enforcement. I would get APS involved, but our mother is my sister's enabler and would defend her no matter what she does, so I feel it's futile to even try to correct the situation. It would cause our mother a lot of trauma and in the end I would be blamed for it all. So I sit back and let it all play out. I think at the age of 87 she has enough money to see her through the remaining years of her life, and as for me and my 2 brothers, we may very well get the short end of the stick when it comes to inheritance. It has been a hard thing to accept but I feel like my hands are tied. My parents put by far the most dishonest, parasitic and controlling sibling in charge of everything.
My brother(s) (both were addicted to the money) stole several hundred thousand dollars from her, the theft continued even to the point of denying her money for her nursing care (they needed their early "inheritance" more, she was going to die anyways) It took me a long time before I finally caught on.
My mom's story is a warning to all to be vigilant! Don't look the other way or think that signs or your gut intuition of financial abuse shouldn't be investigated today! Family "white-collar crime" like this is 99% ignored by law enforcement, usually you are left paying exhorbitant legal bills for a civil case but the perpetrator has already spent the money so there is nothing left to recover. Because I delayed, my mom risks facing running out of money for her care in her final days.
My brother(s) (both were addicted to the money) stole several hundred thousand dollars from her, the theft continued even to the point of denying her money for her nursing care (they needed their early "inheritance" more, she was going to die anyways) It took me a long time before I finally caught on.
My mom's story is a warning to all to be vigilant! Don't look the other way or think that signs or your gut intuition of financial abuse shouldn't be investigated today! Family "white-collar crime" like this is 99% ignored by law enforcement, usually you are left paying exhorbitant legal bills for a civil case but the perpetrator has already spent the money so there is nothing left to recover. Because I delayed, my mom risks facing running out of money for her care in her final days.
Now my 85 yr. old dad, in even worse physical and mental condition, is chasing an even younger woman, who is gladly taking all the money and gifts he showers on her, while ignoring his own children, who have spent countless hours and our own money to make sure he is safe and cared for. Now, he doesn't even bother with us knowing who he is "dating" but lies about everything, to her and to us. (to her about his true medical condition and mental state. He can be very charming and his long term memory is still good. Short term, terrible. Forgets his medication, etc.) The only reason we even know about this woman is because the caregiver has told us, even though my dad "swears" her to secrecy. She knows she can't withhold info, so she calls or texts one of us. I live out of state, so I'm not usually first to get any info...
My oldest sibling has POA and Medical POA. We know if dad doesn't stop the reckless spending (hundreds each week) he won't be able to live in the senior community to which we just moved him. Nice but expensive, and he can barely afford it on a strict budget, which he is not sticking to! So my oldest sibling is going to have "a word" with the gold digger. If she doesn't relent or if she complains to my dad, things will only get worse. We're thinking we need to start the process of guardianship, but don't know what to do in the interim, especially if dad gets upset with us trying to "cramp his style", or if the gold digger doubles down and tries to get control over his finances.
Just venting I guess, I looking for suggestions as to how to handle this, AGAIN. So sick of my dad allowing these types of women into his life! But just to cover his bases, he's still chasing little old ladies and another really nice older woman/girlfriend, while still chasing the younger woman who is young enough to be his daughter!
Anybody been in this type of situation before? Elder parent with dementia who can fool some doctors, but doesn't remember to take his meds, is falling down and has other medical issues, but still thinks he's the "man about town" or "big man on campus"?
In the end, there's really not much you can do. My recommendation would be to stay out of it after you've reported it to authorities.
Yeah, right.
APS should be abolished.
I was the daughter left to "pick up the pieces". And I kick myself b/c I could have prevented it if I had not continued to let my mother and sister bully me. Now, I am just as "blown away" as the rest of the family.
But, please, please, please contact this organization-all services are free--before your situation proceeds. good luck to you.