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BRADY Asked October 2009

There are five siblings and we all have different ideas about our parent's care. What can we do when we all disagree?

My mom is in a wheel chair, had macular degeneration is very passive, non verbal.She is 92 years old and isa presently in Assisted living with a 24 hour aday aide at her own expense. She also has dimentia.There are 5 siblings.Mom pays $120000 a year for care. She has an insurance policy that would pay for an aide 24?7 only in a private home for 3 years.She also has income from her TBills etc.that would pay for expenses in my home.I have a quiet home as my childr4en are grown and my husband is vewry supportive and loves my mom.She can afford to payfor an addition of $45,000 for a bedroom and handicap bathroom and still have enough money to live at our home for the next 12 years.I am home by 2:30 every day and follow the school calander.The problem is that my sistewr wants my mom out in Wis. with her even though she and her husband will be retiring to Fla. next year. The rest of us live in Ct.and one brother in Delaware which is a 6 hour drive.We have met with an eldercare Atty and have mom evaluated by a geriatric Dr as well as her own phsican and they all agree that mom would do best in a loving home surrounded by family.My 2 brothers want her in a nursing home and the other brother agrees with me that my home would be best for mom in her final years.I feel I should go to court and fight for my mom to be with my husband and I. This has been going on for quite a while and I don't know what else to do. Could I win a court battle? We all have power of Attorney.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Oct 2009
You could talk with an elder attorney, or even more than one. If you could get a mediator, that would certainly be easier and cheaper. YOu may want to read this article: https://www.agingcare.com/134376

Take care,
Carol

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