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sm85 Asked November 2009

Who is in charge of of the affairs of a person with dementia when there is no specified POA?

My mother in law has dementia. She is now living at her daughters house. There is no power of attorney. What are the rules of this?  There is no surviving spouse and there are 3 children. My husbands sister thinks that she has control of everything. My mother in law can't handle anything on her own. I don't know what my sister in law is doing with her SSI checks.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Nov 2009
It's difficult to go back, since your MIL has dementia, already. There should be someone appointed POA, but you will need an estate attorney to guide you through this. There should be an accounting of the money.

Hands-on caregiving is difficult and can cost money. Hiring an outsider to do this work would cost a great deal. So, please don't jump to any conclusions about the daughter's use of your MIL's money. That said, everything should be in the open and a POA should be obtained. The caregiver may even be paying for some respite care. That shouldn't be a problem, but it needs to be documented in order to hold the family together, as the money should go for your MIL's care, medications, etc.

I hope there is a good enough relationship in the family to talk this through.

Carol

sm85 Nov 2009
There is no outside care. Infact my sister in law doesn't want to take care of her Friday night thru Sunday evening. She has my mother in law pack up and stay at my brother in laws and we take her all day every other Sunday.(We have 4 very active kids and are on the go all weekends) My husband siblings are alot older than him.

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