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charob46 Asked November 2009

Since my father's wife died, he has become depressed and won't leave his house. Is this normal?

My 75 year old father's wife died about 2 months ago. He is becoming depressed. he will not leave his house. Is this normal?

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Nov 2009
He is likely depressed. Yes, this is "normal" to a degree, but if it goes on too long, I'd get him to a doctor. Sometimes an anti-depressant helps, if a doctor decides this is a good idea. Caution: not all work the same for everyone, so watch him carefully if he does start taking one. Sometimes, people will get worse on one, but better on another. Also, they take time to work.

However, often the most helpful thing is knowing you aren't alone in your grief. If you check with your local hospice, they have grief groups filled with people like your dad.

Good luck. You are kind in your concern. It will, indeed take time, and he may never fully recover, be he isn't all that old by today's standards. If he can get through this, he could have some reasonably contented years. Please keep trying to help him find peace.
Carol

loveoneanother Nov 2009
you are a lovely person and my mom ,75yrs. old,lost my dad 4 years ago .Still have days that are sad.it is hard to face ,that the love of your life as left. Just keep friends and family around him. talk about her,it helps!! there be times he needs to be alone,that ok just try not to let those time happen to much.BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WITH LOVE !!

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