Is anyone having trouble with a parent who is in a nursing home that complains about lack of privacy and having to share a bathroom?

This is one of the hardest parts of nursing homes - when they have to share a room, they generally have to share a bathroom (just think - in the "old days" they had a bathroom down the hall!).

The only way around this seems to be a private room. If she is private pay, you can request one. If she is on Medicaid, you can still request one, but you have to pay the difference between a shared room and a private room. Each home is different is how many private rooms they offer.

Good luck with this. This is one of the things that is very understandable, but hard to change. If they are really sick, it's not such an issue, but when they are alert, it is very hard to lose the privacy they are used to.
Carol

Just pay extra for a private room anda bath..

I paid for a private room and a private bath for a short time when my husband was in between the hospital and home. Guess what, the Nursing Home returned my check to me after my husband passed away! Therefore, Medicare only paid for the shared room, and my balance was zero.

Unfortunately there are no private rooms in this nursing home. This really makes me feel trapped in the middle. I know my sister will not pay for it and I do not have any money (on disability). My only hope is maybe I can get my sister to agree to have her transferred to another nursing home here in town that might have a private room, I am not sure if they even have private rooms available in this town. She is on medicaid so all her money will be gone. I cried and cried over this last night, please don't make me feel bad because I am trapped into this deal of not having a private room. I think they will be sending her to assisted living when this court thing comes up next Friday, she is trying to get out of having any kind of guardian or anyone helping her or taking care of her finances and is suing us for her property that is stored in our garage. Please pray for me, I am really nervous about this and I have to testify against my own mother in person.

Imw I am so sorry for what you have to go through with having to trstify against your Mon -how is she affording legal help if she can pay a lawyer 350.00 an hour why does she not get someone to move her things from your garage to whereever she wants them a couple of big strapping guys won't charge 350.00 an -I think that women has too much time in her life- what kind of do do lawyer did she get who would even waste a judges time over this nonsense sit down and pray to our heavenly father for guidence and strenght for yourself

If it is a court appointed guardian, then if the person who is under guardianship gets a public advocate for free - that is the system to give them an equal voice.

The sad truth is that money and families have been having problems since the dawn of time, and you can even find instances in the bible of disputes - the only difference these days people live longer with better medical care and have more assets for family to fight over.

Stuff is just that - stuff. A friend who is a mediator always reminds me that usually issues involving family are very complex because of the emotions attached to differing viewpoints. It must be terribly hard to have to go through a court system rather than just figure things out for a parent privately. Hopefully it will be over soon and you will not have that to stress over any more.

As far as privacy in nursing homes goes - isn't it interesting how what would be unacceptable for us is ok once someone gets old and sick. Sharing a room or bath with family is sometimes stressing the limits of privacy - but asking someone to share with a stranger at the most vulnerable time in their lives is wrong. The only way it will change is when new buildings or remodels are done on existing nursing homes people need to talk about it publically. Otherwise no doubt we will be facing the same thing when we have no one who is able to manage us in a home environment.

She has a free advocate lawyer that helps people in nursing homes, he works for the state government, as it is required that people in nursing homes have an advocate if they are taken to court. She will probably have a third party guardian and will probably go to an assisted living place. She does not have any money to pay movers, but we do have people from church to help with moving some of the things. Hopefully any moves that will happen will occur before we start getting snowstorms and blizzards up here in North Dakota. It is a real nightmare with this situation in my sister's garage, as my nephew was not careful where he put stuff and boxes are stacked up to the ceiling, some of it my stuff and some of it mom's. Both my sister and I can't do any lifting or bending over because of back problems. I cannot even get my nephew to bring in a few boxes each day to go through them, and they left town this weekend so I have no help at all right now, I do not know why he is so lazy, just lies around the house and does not have a job. I am trying to spend as much time with mom this weekend as I could because I am afraid she will not want either me or my sister to visit or fight with us afterwards. Mom is mad that I let on that it was not safe and that she was falling in the apartment, but I did not have assited living or any help. I have kept alot from my sister about mom, but this time she was falling and starting to wake up in the night thinking someome was out in the parking lot waiting to pick her up.