Mom has settled in the NH and everything is going pretty good, then out of the blue, I feel lonely-depressed and so alone.
I don't have friends and I'm just plain lazy-don't care to clean or , in fact, don't want to do anything.
Anyone else got themselfs in a rut like this?
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Mom was a depressed hermit for a year, and I too used to cry and scream, but I went out to the garage. When Mom because a little more sociable, I took photos of her to show her that others were enjoying her company NOW, not just in the olden days. One day, I fooled with the digital video feature, and a whole new world was born. I don't much fool with slide shows, but do put photos on digital picture frame. I also post photo albums on my Facebook page.
Videos I have made include Holiday ("Shirley's Silent Night" and "Ghost Walker"), special friends ("Dean's Twinkle" and "Love Marriage Work Poop"), caught-on-film ("Mom comes out of Ditropan Dementia"...and videos of mom's sick behavior to show to nurses/doctors, and one about Boston the Therapy Dog), nature outtings such as many about birdwatching)...and more. That channel on YT is CarolJWright. I also have a more anon channel titled AlzheimersCaregiver, where I show behaviors, activities, etc.
MY Big Production Number required a lot of know-how, advanced video editing program (that would do multi-camera, not to mention more powerful computer), and equipment (separate mic, cords, headphone monitoring setup, mic boom). I filmed my Mom and singer niece Wendy singing along with "Playing for Change" song ONE LOVE. I slipped in my two singers so that it worked well with the original, even to the style of subtitles. I put this on DVD and share it with people who visit. Makes Mom very proud....and we sing along again!
Another whole aspect I find useful is making looped nature, relaxation videos. I have several of our squirrels, one on of full bloom wisteria on very windy day (with wind chimes), and a bee buzzing sunflower. Just set up camera, let it roll, then edit out the non-squirrel segments. We have those on the large screen every day, and wisteria winds when mom goes to bed, low volume.
Besides being a meaningful hobby for me and add meaning to Mom's life, photography/video of Mom makes me think more in terms of working photo opps into our lives. And anything with a photo opp will have better life qualities. It's really worked, and kept up my graphic arts skills. I now have several video cameras, mic and voice recorder options... and can even shoot an event or concert multi camera and sync the whole thing together "post production"...admittedly the time I can now spend doing this is less, as Mom's care is more hands on, just as the skill levels have plateaued to more time consuming skills.
Hope we didn't veer off topic too much. Some Alzheimer's spouse just published a coffee table book of images of her husband. She was already a pro photographer, and had connections. I didn't get if she shared the images with him or not. That is the big thing as far as I'm concerned. I'd take photos in ER of mom, would snap off a few shots, then immediately show her the images, saying "the kind nurse is pricking your finger to test your blood sugar levels."
Anyway, am hundreds of hours behind in editing video, and imagine I'll get to it in earnest after Mom passes. At least the footage is in the can, so to speak.
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The first anniversary of my father's death was this week and I made a big, special slideshow memorial. My mother absolutely LOVES it.My siblings are so grateful to me for doing the time-consuming job of scanning all the family photos onto disks.I can honestly say that slideshow-making has been life-changing for me.
I dread that day. Wish you were my neighbor.
Have a great Thaksgiving and take care.
What you are feeling is depression. You went from being crazy busy and on call 24/7, to a screeching halt of your routine. Humans seem to like routine...even if it is occasionally a rut.
No wonder you are feeling low and have no energy. Everyone will want you to "snap out of it" but don't let them rush you.
Try to find a few simple things that you like to do. Get outside as much as possible...natural light will do wonders for your mood. Volunteer if you can afford to...you have so many skills to share.
Give yourself time to get used to the new routine...then gradually find a new path.
Good luck
More than that worry, the "what do I do with myself" issue has come up. I will probably head to my old home, which I left over 7.5 years ago, and see what is left of the community I grew to love. I don't have enough time off here to create an outer life. If I had enough hours off on any one day/evening, I'd head for SF and do standing room at the opera.
If Mom were in a nursing home, I'd spend a lot of hours each day there, keeping her engaged and trying to connect her with others to make a friend. EXCEPT, once Mom is in a nursing home, I can't even afford to live in the area at all.
Sure others are experiencing same thing, sort of like a divorce or the kids finally off to college. And what was it we told ourselves we'd do when the nest was empty? ;-)