What do I do about an abusive and alcoholic father that one cares about. We've been slipped, shoved, cursed at, screamed at, accused and threaten. My sisters have written him off.
My mother never wanted to leave him. In June, he threw her out of "HIS" house, throwing some of her things outside and shoving her out the door. My sister was there at the time this happen, quickly brought my mother to my house. My mother has with moderate Alzheimer now lives with me full time. (I've been dealing with him since my mother was living with him).
I don't want to care for my abusive father, yet I feel he should be cared for somehow. I've been taking him to the doctors, dealing with all his financial problems, and taking his abuse. I have Power of Attorney to deal with both parent's medical and financial matters. He lives 30 miles away, making solving problems difficult. Can social serves deal with elderly abusive alcoholic parent everyone hates? What can be done?
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He's a sick as your mother, but it's harder to deal with since his alcoholism has made so many people miserable. He's obviously miserable, too, but until he deals with it, nothing will improve. Please try to get third party help. You can't handle this alone.
Carol
Thanks- Speighja for the post about Al-Anon, it's something that I need to check in to. My father will never come between me and my husband, and our relationship is very strong. If my dad become so toxic, I will cut him out of my life as my sisters have. He will then be totally alone and be cared for by the state.
Thanks-SecretSister, Yes I do have God in my life. With spiritual help, prayer and guidance the stress and frustration have diminished in relations with my dad. I've learn to let things go and not dwell on the anger or pain he causes when I have to deal with him. Compassion is difficult to give to an abusive alcoholic, but it can be done with the grace of God.
Sending Hugs to all who responded with a caring open heart.
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He gambles and spends all of his social security on out of state FRUAD lotteries and contest. He truly believes he's won that million dollars. He doesn't want to understand they are fake and not real. (This is the cause of major financial problem).
We tried to get help, it was of no avail. We only get abused verbally with screaming rags. It's really hard dealing with him.
How do I contact social services on this matter? Do I just Google social services in my area to start?
Thanks again.
Whenever a medical expert tells Dad to stop drinking, he'll say, "I'll drink to that!"
He has "dried out" many times. He has done many things to hurt our feelings.
He is too weak or drunk to even stand up at times. He is totally incontinent, cannot take meds by himself, rarely eats, but can drink a fifth of vodka a day.
My sister is scared to put him in a nursing home because she does not want to hurt his feelings.
It is killing her mentally and physically to take care of him.
Help!?
Strongly recommend that you and your husband get to an Al-Anon meeting. There you will find the help you really need. Trust me on this because your dad has become a toxic personality who will not hesitate to break up your marriage if that's what it takes to maintain his place in your life without admitting that he has a serious drinking problem. Here is the link to the Al-Anon site:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/