How do I know if I should put my elderly parents into an Assisted Living Facility or Nursing Home?

My elderly father is on Medicare and needs assisted living. His only real asset is his home that he owns free and clear. How do I make the transition to the facility without any money? Do I sell the house first?

So can a Doctor say that an elderly person HAS TO go into a nursing home?

Hello Karen,

What state are you in?

Karenm, If your parents are ready to go somewhere, definitely assisted living gives them a lot more freedom and feeling of independence. It would probably need to be a joint decision among you siblings, your parents and the doctors if they are connected to them. (Some docs today stay pretty disconnected to the patients, as I'm sure you know.) My parents are having such a difficult time making a decision. They have gone back and forth for two years now, alternating between "Put us somewhere now, we can't do this any longer!" and "We just want to stay here in our house and die right here!" Well, of course, that would be anybody's wishes. But they are just one flu bug or fall away from them both being incapacitated. Mom does the thinking for Dad, so when she is ill, Dad is lost and helpless. Their constant changing of their minds is excruciating for me, as their main support, but I certainly can understand it. They have been married nearly 65 years. Wasn't there a song about "Sparrows in the Wind" that talked about this situation? It is very tough to be part of this. The indecision is awful.