My father suffers from multiple health issues including neropathy, diabetes, irregualr heart rates which result in fainting and incontinence He lives alone he has told me and siblings if we move him against his will he will call the police when we show up to his door. We know assistant living will be best for him. What are our rights?
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Other than that, you can go to court and try to get guardianship. It's slow and expensive, but sometimes it has to be done.
Carol
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Even the best NH and Asst Living they begin giving drugs for "behavioral issues" and things go bad from there.
If your dad is not completely out of his mind, if he can make TV dinners, get his own glass of water, then let him die at home if possible. He has rights.
Sometimes when I read this stuff I am so glad I do not have kids that may force me out of my house when they think I am not living the good life anymore.
I'd rather die in one year at home than live for 10 years in Asst Living.
If your dad is driving you nuts with calls and needing help then he needs to know that is the reason he needs to move for your benefit. Then he will know he has to hire someone to come in and check on him once a day instead of bugging you guys.
If at all possible please give him wishes.
I don't care if I am sick and a little wacky when I get old, people should leave me alone. I have struggled my whole life to have a place when I get old and I don't care how dusty & dirty my place gets. I do not want to go to a nursing home (which is where asst living naturally ends up).
Why do people think life in an institution where others control you completely is better than a life at home with problems?
If I were the father I would be looking for an elder lawyer to protect me and my rights. A person has a right to live and die as they wish even if it isn't the safest.
The elders goal is not always to be "safe" and live forever. Sometimes it is just to get by day by day in their own home even if it is NATURALLY at a lower quality of life as they get older.
Unless they are a danger to someone else. I'd leave them alone.
If he cannot keep his bed clean from incontinence then he needs to hire someone to come in and do that for him.
My dad is in a NH and I wish he'd stayed home. His diet there is donuts, cinamon rolls, anything he wants for breakfast lunch dinner his health has gone way downhill and his sugar is always over a 250 now. At home he at small TV dinners, oatmeal, milk, coffee ... small things he could make, and his sugar was much better and he did his own insulin even though he was blind.
Now all the Asst Living , NH activities involve cookies, donuts etc... and it is bad... I mean how can they say NO to him when everyone else is eating cookies.. Plus he will eat 12 at a time. Oh well, whatever, it is his only pleasure now that he is institutionalized.
You are only doing what's best for the one who needs care if that is what they need. Unless a person can truely care for themselves and it is not possible for a safe, healthy, good quality of life at home than some type of 24/7 care is needed.
Best to let a professional determine whether or not he needs more assistance than you are able to provide. A full Geriatric Assessment is in order...IF you can get him to go. If not, then social services may be the only recourse.
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