Is my aunt paying me adequately for the care that I'm providing for my grandmother?

There isn't any given amount that I know of. A lawyer should be able to tell what comparable pay would be adequate in your area. Then a contract should be drawn up so that you get the agreed amount. It's best to make it a legal contract as though you are an employee. Medicaid rules could be a problem down the road is your grandmother goes on Medicaid, so you want everything in writing and legal.

Carol

Ask your aunt how she arrived at the figure she is paying you. Then ask her how much she thinks she would have to pay someone else. If she balks... ask her how much she would expect if it was the other way around. It might get her to think about it. Remind her that because you are family, you do it with love... but doing it with love is not the same as cheap labor.

When I got my mome care giver bill for the first week it was $963.00. I just got one a few days ago for 2 weeks, and it was $1,900.00. She doesn't live there with my mom, she just comes in and works some days 7-7, and others 7-3. My mom is in her own home and my sister and her family (4 total) live there with my mom. I wrote a post about it. But I guess your situation is different as you are the primary care giver and this is your job.

Hmm. What happens with the other $1.090.00?

magmarconis, are you the original poster? The original question did not have enough info.

Around where I live, like in my LIFE, the government considers caregiving by family members to be a GIFT, and not even the inheritance will be adjusted to pay me for my GIFT.

Not only can I not be paid by any govt agency to care for my mother, it was almost a legal case for ME to be paid $10 per day with my mother's own money. (She was conserved by the county Public Guardian when I reported financial elder abuse by my two sisters.) I "get" room and board, too (now THEY are the ones giving permission, even though my mother asked me to live with her.) Of course this is worth money, but $10 day does not get you a future, nor dental nor medical. I've been at this for 8 years now and have lost 6 teeth since I've been here.

Good thing you got an agreement and did it legally. As Pamela6148 is bowing up there in total amazement that you got that much. If you read the many threads on this issue on this website, you will find people who quit their jobs, hoping to collect unemployment to cover expenses when they decide old Mom needs their 24/7 care. GUESS WHAT? Too late, they can't even collect unemployment.

Often the person needing care is already in state of dementia when all these needs come up. And they cannot then legally make their own decisions regarding money and their level of care. Like I was caring for Mom, not expecting this to go on for 8 years but perhaps 6 months (she was in such bad shape).

Cynical and serious both. As I said, read the many posts on this question. Seems like this board gets a few of "how can I be paid for caring for my parents?" each week.

Anyway, I'm not an expert, just a victim in this situation.

I am not the origianl poster of this question. AWhat is the purpose or message the bowing emotion from Pamela is suppose to be for?

I think one thing needs to be clear I am not getting the money to just care for my mother, actually it is paying for expenses that she would have to pay where ever she lived and it would be a much higher amount and without love! My whole life style has changed since my Mom moved in, I have no free time anymore and I am not complaining, but it is a change but I am doing it with love.

My mother choose to live in my house. It was a new house just built and she loved the bright sun that comes into the family room where she spends her time on the couch watching TV. Just my heat an electric run $800. per month, that does not include, cable, phone, water, sewer, food, trips to the doctors etc.

My siblings try to make me feel guilty about it, but I never see them up to do anything for her that would affect their life style.I did feel guilty at first when they complained, but I do not anymore, it is very difficult to have an older parent living with you, but you make those scarafices out of love.

O think there was another comment directed to me about what happens to the other $1.090. per month, it goes into her checking account and stays there unless she has a bill on the home she is selling. And the annunity check she gets every years if given to my siblings, neices, nephews, grandchilddren and great grandchilden at Christmas on on their Birthdays. They get a nice big gift from her, she is the most selfless person I know.

Magmarconis my bowing icon is my way of taking my hat off to all the wonderful people here who day in and day out continue to care for their loved ones with no thanks, with little to no help, and little to no time for themselves. I am in awe of each and every one of them. They have carried me through a darkness that I never even imagined could even exist. A parent in need just zapping the life out of you, totally becomming a 2 or a 3 yr old. They have become my heros. And that is why I bow to them.

Seems to me you didn't really need to ask your question if you're getting $1400.00 a month, (I'm just saying). Seems to me you wouldn't have a problem paying that $800.00 Electric bill.

So in essence take that money and don't complain because you are indeed blessed that someone has made it available for you without a fight especially when you have sibblings. I say congrads!!!

Light is very important I've come to understand and I keep my moms room lit up, both the front window blinds open and the side ones. It's important to older people and I'm glad your mom enjoys that light coming in.

Do read on about money for the caregivers, and I hope you learn as much as I have from this site and I hope you are as appreciative to all these wonderful and wise folks here as I have become.

Does all this mean if my parents give us $1500 a month toward room, board, care, etc. and we don't have legal documents, we will have a problem later with medicaid? I am practically having a panic attack. If I had to give this money back, we would be devastated. It costs so much to care for them both. My heating bill alone is now enormous. The money we are paying for additional care beside my husband and myself is more than we can handle. HELP!

I think some people are confused, I was not the original poster of this questions, I was only responding to the person that posted it asking if they are being paid enough by her aunt explaining my experience and situation.

I was not aware of the medicare issue either, an attorney had indicated this as something they could do if there is a need for the use of medicare at a later date for parents. You may want to ask an attorney if they do this as an automatic policy or it is on a case by case basis. I just cannot understand how they would think the money is a gift, it cost people money to live no matter where they live. They use heat, electric, water, food, gas to get to a doctor etc. etc. But that is just my personal opinion.

In my opinion Medicare should be assisting the caregivers when the parents live with a child. If they needed to use the medicare much sooner, it would have cost the government a lot more money than what is given to a family member monthly. It is also ideal for the parent because they are with people who truly care about them and love them.

I would just check with an elder attorney to be on the safe side.
I wish you well and God Bless you for taking care of your parents.

I also wanted to add that this web site has helped me a great deal get thru the issues with my siblings being upset that my Mom wants to pay her way in life and felt like it was money I used on myself which it is not, it helps pay the bills.

I would not have been able to get thru this issue without the help of all the kind people on this web site. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Mag