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C
cicisings Asked March 2010

Mom can't complete a sentence and has lost her nouns, but can remember family and some friends name. She argues and gets upset if I don't argue back. What is going on?

cannot complete a sentence, has lost her nouns but remembers family and some friends names. Very frail, argues everything and get upset if I don't argue back. I walk away and that angers her. I try to answer but she tells me I'm lying. Help, Cindy
I could really use a caretakers group but can't find one.

Mimis Mar 2010
Hi, These are typical signs of dementia. Is there a memory Clinic or teaching hospital in your area. Please have your loved one evaluated. Some dementia behaviors are caused by easily [sometimes] correctible factors. Or it is possibly the early stages of Alzheimer's or related disorder? Please go for a complete workup including blood tests, brain scans and neuro-psych testing. If it should be a dementia, it's important to distinguish since some meds work better for some types than others.

And if it is dementia, begin the best practices: medication, physical exercise, mental stimulation, Meditterreran diet plus supplements and socialization. The earlier the disease is diagnosed and treated aggresively, the more that fatal decline can be slowed!

anne123 Mar 2010
Cicisings, you HAVE found a caregivers' group----this one! You are free to vent here and will receive no judgment, only support and advice. I am very sorry that you are having to deal with your mother's treatment of you. Even knowing she has little control over what she says, it can still be upsetting to you. That is just natural. My Dad does the same thing----says things to me which are mean , and reflect a new personality which has taken up residence in his body. It's like we have to turn off a switch and not let ourselves react to these mean/provocative things they say. And there are those days when we are tired and we just aren't as good at that. I have to walk out of the room and get a breath of fresh air. It is particularly hurtful when a parent blames you, as you have said, for doing something you haven't. This is not rational on her part to say that. When I first noticed my Dad's personality changing a few years ago, and he would say something mean to me, it hurt so bad. Before my mother died recently, she "gave me a hint" as to how to handle Dad's outbursts. She said to "ignore" the outbursts. At least that was how she handled it. It's not easy, that's for sure. Many others here have experienced similar things. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

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