I need assistance with daily living activities and house cleaning, but I don't have very much money. How can I afford home care, so I don't have to go to a nursing home?

It's a shame that people are put in this position. No one should have to feel as you do about getting care, and yet many do.

First, the nursing home idea: Many have changed a lot and really are not the same as they used to be. That isn't to say they all have, but many are very nice and concentrate on person centered care, which means treating you as an individual.

However, since you want to stay in your own home and maybe can for some time, I'd advise you to see an estate attorney or elder attorney who can help you decide your best approach. Your CD's could be spent on in-home care. When you assets are spent down, you would go on Medicaid. Medicaid does provide some in-home care in some places. So, it's not as gloomy as it seems. I truly believe you will feel better if you get help from someone who knows your state laws and how to appropriately help you with your care. Your state Web site has an aging services link, and that may help you somewhat.

Elder law attorneys can be found in the local phonebook, or in at the Web site of the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys (www.naela.org). Many communities also have programs that offer free legal advice and assistance through various volunteer groups. The local Bar Association in each state will have further information on such programs. The American Bar Association can provide referrals to local groups in each state (www.abanet.org).
Good luck, Tinker.
Carol

Not all nursing homes are created equal, is what I have found. Yes they are understaffed & overworked I think, but they have come a long way since when my grandma had to live in one. I noticed when my mother-in-law was in one for 4 months during hip rehab/care, that there are lots of good people who genuinely care for the people they care for. Sure there are those that are just doing it for the money, but I think with the right attitude, it was a pretty good place that she was in. Her insurance (Kaiser) was the one that gave us the options of a few choices of where she had to be taken after the hospital. We chose the one that was closest to us. One of us were visiting her everyday and making sure that she was being taken care of. Like I said, attitude was key, and the squeaky wheel motto was the other key. Happiness is a choice I believe. We can't change our circumstances, but we do have control over how we react to those circumstances. The people that worked in her nursing home, reacted to our emotions from the get go. I would personally come in there happy and glad to see her, compliment where appropriate, the staff and how they were taking care of her. Every single Monday, I would bring in a platter of cookies that I picked up at Albertsons on the way in. Knowing that Monday's are not that good for anyone. The result was, she was taken better care of, and the workers were glad to see us, and when a change was needed they were much more receptive to our ideas. Attitude is everything, so start changing your thinking about going to a nursing home now. Maybe you could be doing your homework as to the best place (money wise) that you can go to. When you go, try to put yourself in their shoes for a minute. They are overworked, under appreciated, and have to clean up poop everyday. whew!! Maybe they'll put themselves in your place if you do it first. Good luck, the fat lady hasn't sung yet so hang in there.
God bless.

Tinker, my heart breaks for you. Your post was too sad. Like naheaton said not all nursing homes are the same. Did you have a bad experience with the nursing home your son was in? Is it the only one available to you? Please don't lose hope. I'm keeping you in thoughts and prayers.

Check with your office of the ageing depending on your resources you may qualify for low cost care so you can stay in your home -let us all know how things work out for you to help others.