My dad isn't incontinent, but when he uses the toilet to urinate he "dribbles" on the floor, the toilet and his clothes. What can we do?

Just curious as to whether you're still haveing the problem with your father or not Jersey?

When my elderly Dad moved in with me I found the same thing. Puddles on the floor and over spray everywhere. I told my Dad and he seemed unaware and embarassed. I asked him if he would mind sitting while urinating. There has been no problem since.

So glad to hear we are not alone. My dad moved in with us about 3 months ago. I was surprised to find out dad needed quite a bit more care than we originally thought. The first thing I noticed was the puddle in front of the toilet, not to mention the odor is pungent. I am a very open person, and I never want my dad to feel like an outsider so I have been as straight forward as possible ...while being considerate of his feelings. He is in total denial about the peeing on the floor, although after I have talked to him several times it is a bit better (we have two bathrooms and one has carpet). He still claims it cannot be him (it is). The other issue is the wet pants...he doesn't notice when he gets wet, it is not all the time but my husband is his caretaker and his under-ware are soaked every night when he changes for bed. If we do not pick up the clothes from the night before he will put peed pants back on (not the undies), he doesn't like to change the suspenders. So we offer to help. However, today my husband pointed out thaty he had peed, and if he wanted to change, after looking down and seeing the pee he said, no. He had Dr. appointment in an hour so I asked him if he was planing on going in those pants...he said "Yes, I hadn't planned on changing." I said,"Well dad that is not okay, that is unfair to the foks at the Dr's office, and my car, dad my car will spell like pee. Come on dad." He changed, but I just do not understand, my father has worn a three piece suit all his life, he was a businessman. How can he think it is okay to sit in his own urine. When we ask often he wont take shower for days and will only then take one when I ask. Can that be healthy? We try and choose the battles, for one thing I am glad he is here, and I want him to be happy, but part of that is for us to be happy too, as a unit.
He has told me he has a hard time going pee, or holding it sometimes when it comes on, so we have addressed this with his Dr., and are in the process of running test...I guess the real question I had is how do I handle the cleanlinesss issue, and is this common? (and he has had a stroke in the last 6 months)

Keep the paper panties on him right up until the moment he sits on the potty or stands infront of the potty. You have to teach him how to pull down the panty right before he goes.

Been there. Done that with my husband.

I just wanted to comment that I thought initially this was "my own posting!" We have been dealing with my dad's "dribble issue" also. I know you didn't mention it, but it sounds like your dad also has a bit of dementia or Alzheimer's, etc., if he's not realizing the problem. If he was "clear" then some solutions like Depends would help minimize the situation.

We did some things, overnight -- we cut out large "holes" in his pjs to make the spray ....well not hit his pants. Kinda goofy, but it helps. Look at your dad's pants and underpants, can he get a clear path for the pee to get out. Is the zipper and opening big enough to umm..get easy and quick access when he needs to pee? We changed my dad's underpants to a stretchier and looser type, seems he can thus pull it back easier to pee. We put up a HUGE sign in front of the toilet that says, "Step closer when you pee."

On another note, we seem to have solved a problem with overnight peeing. He had gotten used to using a pee jug at his bedside for overnight peeing, but lately it required mopping up in the morning, every morning. Of course, for us to do this is draining and not fun to wake up to and have as the first thing to do each morning.

Well, what we realized is that he's actually strong enough during the day to use the toilet and he's actually quite okay these days. So AFTER he goes to sleep, we put up two large signs. One right by the nightstand light, which he turns on when he wakes up to pee, and the other a slight distance as an A-board placed away from the bed. They say, "Use the toilet to pee at night!" And you know what, now he does!!! I am so happy to hear the toilet flushing at night.

What was a bit funny, was at first we put the signs out before he slept and "reminded" him. Well all this got us with protests, and "I don't need that," and signs getting put away. Now it's post sleep and nobody sweats it.

At 86, we're not really thinking about surgery, although we will occasionally think about trying some urnination-control meds. He does also have an enlarged prostate.

If we expect to go out, I will often put out a pair of Depends as his underpants. We also do a check of the toilet after he pees at a friend's place...

Well I'm certainly glad you got the help and suggestions you needed.

Keep us posted with the results!

great minds.......

Flomax!! that's one of the meds he takes, but he says he doesn't see a difference...

that's exactly what we do, lol!!

hey there Jersey,

mom would piddle on the floor and the toilet seat and if you went in there in the middle of the night you could get quite the sooprize. We adjusted right away and we would just wipe the toilet seat with tp and make sure it was dry and I ended up putting a towel around the base of the toilet and changing it out at least once a day and never going in there without shoes!! At least the towel kept it from being a puddle on the floor and I could wash it immediately and the rest of the floor wasn't gross.

amazing, isn't it? other people would never believe what we see and do!! whizz patrol!

lovbob

Hi There are medications to br out with doctor's script.... Flomax, as well as others...A urologist can best advise what might br needed. Also, on the market are things like depends-which I would imagine can be purchased at most pharmacies, and some retail establishments...you can check with a pharmacist on this.

Good luck!

Hap

Thank you all for your comments. And it was good to hear from the men who had that problem. I don't know about surgery, but I think we'll look into the Saw Palmetto. He used to take that a few years back and I don't think he had the problem then. Now he takes medication for the condition, but I don't think they help (can't think of the name right now). I did tell him he should sit down, but he doesn't think I can understand the problem, ya know. I think I may have my son say something the next time there's a puddle in the bathroom,lol.
Bobbi, you're funny!!

I think all of the above comments have a lot of merit.

couple squirts of Febreeze.

That's how i got mom to take a shower. couldn't get her out of the bed to wash her, and she was getting gamey. asked her if she wanted a shower and she said no and I said ok, left the room and came back, pulled back the covers and gave her sheets and nightie a couple squirts of Febreeze.
Next day when i asked her if she wanted a shower she got right out of the bed.

give 'ol dad a blast in the pants and when he wants to know why................ tell him in any direct and loving way you can. He's a guy so spell it out.

you know what they say: truth squirts.

lovbob

My dad had an enlarged prostate too and had it fixed. (I called it reamed out). He used to get up multiple times during the night and urinate, but that was because he never could totally empty his bladder.
My mother tells me that he thinks he's young again being able to pee so good. (too much information for me)

An additional suggestion from someone who has experienced "that condition"...my doctor recommended an over-the-counter supplement called Saw Palmetto. It soothes the prostate and increases the flow. Of course, sitting while urinating is still beneficial and so is being more observant of where the pee is landing. Perhaps a word from one of the grand kids will set him straight. Sometimes kids deliver truth in wrappings that we adults could never get away with. ;-)

Jlsavard, thanks for your input...I was hoping a man would chime in.

OK, here is an answer from a man that is nearing that condition, but recognizes it. His prostate is enlarging, and restricting the flow so he has little or no control over the situation. It is awkward to say, but he might not even feel when he is dribbling, rather than when he has a full stream.
If he is reasonable about it, try to convince him to sit while urinating. It requires a change in life-long habits, but if/when he does so, he will probably find that it is a much more "Satisfying" situation. He will be able to relax and get more complete emptying of the bladder, and need to go less frequently, plus make no mess.

There is also the possibility of surgery, if he is fit for it.

Jerseymom, I can relate to your post. My father "smells" sometimes too, and I try to tactfully ask him if he's showered, or whether a certain shirt needs to be laundered. This does seem to help, but it sounds like it's not working with your father. The first thought that comes to mind is that you could talk to your father's doctor. If I were in your shoes that's what I would do. I'm thinking there has to be a solution for this. Maybe the doc will have some suggestions for practical solutions. Hope this works out...

Pamela,
It's not a few drops, its more like a puddle. Sometimes he smells like the subway.

When I said he gets out, its to the drug store or post office. He no longer sees friends and we are his social network. When he did still see friends however, they would mention to me about his problem, so as not to be impolite. He would come out of the bathroom looking like the faucet sprayed on him. He has done this in people's houses and my sisters and I always check the bathroom after he leaves to clean up the mess (sometimes he tracks the mess after him with wet footsteps).

This isn't the only issue he has, but it's one that carries a social stigma and for someone who has few social interactions, it is important, to us anyway. I know this may not seem important compared to all the other serious issues that I read about, but I see it and his other issues as the tip of the iceberg to come.

We do enjoy my dad the way he is, especially his grandchildren. But they will soon be at an age where they will think his odor is off putting and not want to be around him and I am trying to avoid that.

Thanks your insight.

Well here I go: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. You can start by NOT worrying about little things like that. If your dad is not incontinent, and all he is doing is sprinkling a little pee on himself, and his clothing you are still in the clear.

You can Thank goodness that is all he is doing.

Really I know things like that bother you right now, but your dad has his established routine and friends. They are mush more influential than you and if it gets that bad, they'll tell him but in the mean time, you and your sister don't need to establish GRAY HAIR worrying about a little thing like that.

Just enjoy him as he is dear, really.

I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helps.