My brother stole $2 million from my mother who has dementia and now she is running out of money. What can I do?

I have a mother in law (now 80) has Alzheimer's as a result of a fall last fall. She has 2 children, both male. Her youngest son has POA for health and finances because he is the "banker in the family". About 10 years ago, the house where she lived was placed into an LLC-she sold the house to my husband and his brother. About 5 years ago, her home was sold, at closing there was $266K. At the time of sale, my husband and I found there was 3 liens against the home totaling $244K. When my mother in law bought the home, it was paid with cash from the death proceeds of the their father. The youngest son, took loans out against the home to build his mcmansion. So, in order to have the liens lifted at closing, he took the money and placed them into a CD to be held as collateral for one year against the other loans he took out. In addition, he stated that my husband received $76K as a disbursement from the sale of the home noted on a K-1 form and they told us, the closed the LLC out without telling my husband. We did not receive any dollar amount what so ever. So my brother in law and his wife lied to the IRS. Thirdly, I needed to refinance my home, as a result of a lay off- I bought before I married the eldest son and the service provider stated there was a disbursement of $76K we took that was filed from a K1 form, I needed to disclose. I requested from my brother in law as to where the money went, I was called names and he refused to provide me with documentation. So as a result, I lost my home, my kids could not receive college financing and it has affected my ability to find work in my trained field. The money is all gone that was intended to pay for moms care. My mother in law is renting an apartment in an independent living community on the 4th floor. My brother in law refuses to buy the life line system because of cost. Over the past few months I have seen a marked decline in my mother in laws health, she falls all the time, she is shaking terribly, she has a walker, but can barely use it without tripping over it. Shes in bed by 7pm or at least in PJs by 6pm laying in bed. She can barely put a shoe on, her clothes on or even use the bathroom without it taking a half hour to pull up her pants. As far as eating goes, she gets one meal a day from the kitchen, she has now resorted to frozen meals or sandwiches for other meals or splits the meal received in half and makes 2 meals because she cant cook for herself like she used to. By brother in law is trying to get past the look back period so he doesn't have to disclose where all the money went. He and his wife are both corporate commercial and residential lenders for 2 major banks in the city where I live and know how to work the system. I want my mother in law evaluated for nursing home placement. She has become just short of a hermit where she lives. My husband doesn't do anything or say anything to his brother, cause he doesn't want to upset him. I am just beside myself in what to do for his mother but also I want them to disclose where the hell the money went. I need to help my mother in law...Help!!

Get a credible estate attorney. They can work miracles, and are familiar with consequences, and the law. My boss has a lawyer that has her private practice as an estate attorney, and serves as a Judge in Family court. She's awesome, and doesn't take any crap like this!

Once again file charges of embezzlement, because adult financial abuse will not get prosecuted. Once you have criminal charges you can also sue and that also works vice versa. You need to act now. in these cases you do not have the luxury of time for what ifs and speculation.

MY SISTER IN LAW TOOK MONEY FROM MY MOMS CHECKING ACCOUNT(THAT HAD ONLY MY MOMS NAME ON IT)I WHEN TO PROTECTED SERVICES..THEY ARE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT THEY ARE SAYING THAT IT IS FRAUD..GOOD LUCK..

The POA carries out the wishes of the parent. It does open the door to handling the parents financial assets easily such as paying bills, withdrawing money, managing investments, etc. The POA is also privy to healthcare information and cam make decisions in the event the parent isn't able to. However in both financial and healthcare situations the POA must do as the parent wishes unless the POA goes through the legal process of declaring the parent incompetent. It would not be possible to assist my mother in these areas without it.

Would be very interesting to see bank records. Was the money transferred? Did someone write a check??? There has to be a paper trail somewhere. 2mill doesn't just get up and walk away.

I'M dumb about the POA,but does that not give you the right to take it out of her hands and manage her money and if it doesn't what good is haveing POA-just asking?

It sounds as though you've done your homework. My mom has dementia and my 62 year old brother persaudes her to give him large amounts of money also. Although I am power of attorney, I'm unable to convince my mother that she needs to conserve her assets for her future health care. Because I am unwilling to declare mom incompetent, I just sit back and watch this happen. My mother spent her entire life working and sacrificing to save her money so that she wouldn't be a burden to her four children in her old age. Now that the dementia is causing her to have very poor judgement, her assets are at risk due to her own son. What is the moral of this common story?

My brother has no money anymore. He gambled it all away and is forced to live off commissions he makes as a car salesman because he hasn't paid taxes since 2005. He has no money to give back to the IRS. If he did you'd better believe I'd be after him too. I have had legal advice about all of this, spending my own money, not Mom's. There is nothing to be gotten from the wretch.

My original point was that when your Mom runs out of money and needs nursing home care, Medicaid will investigate the history of the estate over the last few years and require your brother to give any money back to provide for her care.

The estate,I believe,would be responsible for the gift taxes,which would be your mom,so unless you can prove this about your brother,it would be your mom and the estate you would be getting in trouble.Who's POA,that matters.They could say your mom was purposely hiding money.all the IRS cares about is that they get theres with penalites.So, before you report someone you need to talk to a tax lawyer or somebody who knows the consequences.The legal system is not simple and easy,its a business.

All of the above answers give you some good ideas and one comment hinted at a good point - if your brother claims that Mom "gifted" him the funds, then he should have reported anything over $10,000 per year to the IRS and pain taxes on it. You can at least get him in trouble with the IRS for failure to pay taxes. It might sound spiteful but as another comment said "it will get him out of the picture". It's sad that a times when our elders need family the most, some take the worst advantage of their vulnerability. When this happens the best thing to do is cut the strings. It's okay to cut off relationships with these type of evil, selfish relatives - if they could they'd probably take advantage of you too, so protect yourself and have nothing to do with him after your Mom's gone.

If it were my brother, I'd work behind the scenes to get conservatorship or guardianship and a restraining order. Then the next time he went gambling, I'd move Mom to a relatives' home for a couple of days or take her to an assisted living facility as a lock smith changed the locks. Pack all his crap into garbage bags and haul it the end of the property line and have him served with the restraining order or an order of protection while he's at the casino or where ever he goes. Be a harda__! It's okay when it comes to protecting our elders. It''s no longer about her $$, it's about her safety. Once he's gone through her $$, her safety is at risk since these jerks will get desperate. They'll steal social security checks, sell belongings and have property transferred to their name.

Let us know how it goes. Good luck and god bless.

Beleive me,with that kind of money your moms estate will be audited,if you want it to be or not.The government will always get their share you can count on that,be ready for a long and winding road.

If your mother runs out of money and needs to be taken care of via Medicaid, I believe government will investigate the history of your mother's estate. Even if it is determined that your mother gave her son the money, if the sum was over $12,000 per year (the legal gift limit without tax repercussions) they will want the money returned.

If you apply for medicade there will be a look-back period and they for sure will get to the bottom of this and he will have to pay it back there is a question about any amount of $2000.00 or more of their money being spent on the application he should be reported to Social Services and to the IRS That amount of money could have insured great care for her for a long time in her own home-I would make sure this was made public.

He can go to prison and be out of the picture. Who knows, he may have hidden it somewhere, invested in "stuff" like a car or timeshare or ?? Good luck getting rid of him and getting some justice.

Because of Mom's dementia I cannot prove that she did not give him the money in a court of law. However I know this money did not go towards her care and I know that my mother has always been careful with her money in the past. I do know, and can prove that he stole money from a trust fund set up for my aunt by my uncle. My nieces are pursuing legal action. It is all moot however as he has gambled the money away and nothing is left.

If you can't prove that he has stolen the money from your Mom, what makes you simultaneously affirm that he has stolen $2million? On what are you basing your concern? If you can answer the question for yourself in terms of what is causing you reasonable suspicion, report the matter to your local authorities. If you are unsure, that is a pretty serious allegation to level against another person. Start with Adult Services in your state and/or a lawyer to get some advice and a much-needed reality check for your suspicions. Good luck with resolving the matter. In the end, your Mom's well-being matters. Do what you need to do to protect her if you reasonably suspect fraud.

This is financial elder abuse, report to the police or talk with the Dept of Adult Services in your county. If you do this they might conserve her, get guardianship of her estate and probably personal as well. They may or may not press charges, and may or may not even go after the stolen funds, They didn't when sister stole over $6,000 via credit card, unpaid loan and forgery...but it would have cost mom more in lawyer fees than the amt. collected. She still doesn't think she did anything wrong. That's the hardest part. Impunity, a word i use a lot these days. Everyone gets it except me.

sounds like ure gonna need a lawyer for that . 2 million dollars is alotta money .
u can prove that if you ask the bank , or unless ur mother had all that money under her bed ??