If someone has Power of attorney, should it be kept secret or should it be made known?

I have a friend who is trying to get her dads estate settled in Ireland,no land involved,just cash. It has been going on for a long time now.The lawyer is purposely trying to start conflict between her and her brother.The lawyer has used every tactic to drag it out.She claims this person that they have hired is trying to empty the account herself and leave them with a coupon.Shes fired that particular attorney,reported her[for what good that does]and is now on lawyer no. 2.Why is the legal system such a racket and who can you report it to in congress,considering 99.9 percent of politicians are also lawyers.

Go online and look up the Better Business Bureau for your state.

Click on Check Out a Business or Charity.

Click on Type of Business.

Type in Attorney.

Press Enter.

Then select the kind of attorney you are looking for and press enter.

You can see if they are BBB accredited or not and if they have had any complaints brought against them in the past 36 months.

You can also file a complaint about a lawyer with the BBB.

WHY IS FINDING A HONEST ATTORNEY LIKE FINDING A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.

You should always reveal that fact/ There are too many legal repercussions if you don't. Whether it's medical or financial, it makes it easier on your loved one when life threatening decisions has to be made.

lcs,Yes I am exhausted.Besides that land being my heart and home,I feel like a failure for not being smart enough and rich enough to hold on to it.I'm very disappointed in people in general.My dad did not almost lose his life in WW11 for lawyers to do this to us,This is not what he fought for.

CROWE. You hit the nail pretty much on the head all but the part that this land is our home and have been in the family for several generations.My brothers are older and left after high school,didn't want any part of farming,so they have been gone for 40 something years.They would visit for 3 or 4 hours on the major holidays.They would come in eat and then leave.My dad never talked about them to folks unless he talked about them not coming around.The people they went to school with that was still alive knew of them other than that everyone just figured when you see a girl on a tractor in 10 degree weather or unloading 3000 lbs. of cowfood and taking care of the business that I was the only one.All of my lawyers under estimated them also.The lawyers even thought they sunk to a new form of low-lawyers will not challege there own. My brother is widely known from Memphis to Nashville and very politically active.The title of caregiver does not pull as much weight as attorney-prosecutor-district attorney.He is so use to everyone kissing his butt,he thought we should too,we didn't.A jobs a job everyone is important-a title means nothing to me,but that is not how other people see it. I feel like Davy Crocket at the Alamo waking for the final blow. I was told that the most common technique lawyers use to win is to wear you down financially-the court system allows this to happen.Are my brothers to blame or the legal system that lets it go on.Who would ever thought your own family would do this.I sat at the table with them at Thanksgiving-Traded presents at Xmas,gave them choclate covered strawberries at valentine-no I did not have a clue what was to come..

Seems like a good idea, Crowemagnum.

Littlesis,

I wonder with your dad having so many creditors and how much they are hasselsing you if as his POA you could find a non-profit credible debt reduction agency who can both help set you up on a payment plan and also tell those creditors to stop harassing you.

POA has been an interesting duty for me. My lawyer said to be up front with my dad's creditors. One creditor calls me now 5-10 times a day and said it will get worse if "we" don't fork over some money. He said they will call me since dad won't talk to them. I told them I have only had dad for a month and am still sorting through bills his "girlfriend" did not pay since last year. I really don't know all of the financial workings of his life yet. They did not care. They are using my POA as a means to harass me. Good luck. It is a puzzle.

Tennessee, I didn't realize you had been in this fight for so long. I can understand that you are now exhausted (in more ways than one). I think Crowemagnum has summed up things very well. Somehow you have to get on with your life and not let the actions of your brother steal IT away from you. He has taken enough already and in the end, he will have to face what he has done and NO amount of money or trickery will save him. Make a good life for yourself - I'm sure that's what your dad would have wanted. May the Force be with you.

Ok, I'm really responding late on this one but some questions come to mind. So, you knew that your brother had tried at one time to get POA from yall's dad directly but your dad understandibly said no? What you did not know is that your bother found a way to trick your dad into siging a POA like Jacob tricked Essau in the Bible. I gather that you were aware that such a thing as POA existed but did not know how or why it was important to the degree that no curiousity led to seaching out why your brother might want this from your dad? Evidently, the town people only knew of you and your dad, but not of the existence of your brother cause I guess ya'll moved there without your brother. All in all it sounds like unfortunately you and your dad lived very simple but niave lives concerning the rest of society while your brother became a city slicker and just cleaned you out with his knowledge and resources. That is horrible and a terrible missuse of one's education and cosmopolitan sophistication! Is it any wonder that many people in rural, small town and very isolated rural parts of America do not trust educated people because they fear being taken advantage of like you have. I'm sorry this has happened, but it sounds like all that is left is somehow to pick up the pieces that you have left and seek to rebuild your life and forget your brother even exists. He's done a terrible thing of making you into a victim while making himself a victor while his victory is built on a false premise by which he made you look bad so that he could look good and take the goods.

lcs,my dad was a gem.He was from a era that a man was only as good as his word [or woman]. He was from time a handshake meant something'your word was your bond;There was a personal pride in being honest. There were no need for lawyers and lawsuits,family business was just that-FAMILY BUSINESS. lcs, it was a good idea and I do appreciate it,but I'm afraid it is too late.I had to throw in the towel,because the well has run dry.I do not have a another 100,000 dollars to tell the truth.3 years ago I was cocky,I was biteing at the bit to get to court and explain and tell the truth,but lawyers and court is not about discovering the truth,its about making settlements[deals] and money.I did't feel as though I had any thing to hide so I was ready,but the lawyers and the system wants to drain you of all of your assets first.Who ever knew that trying to tell the truth was so expensive.The legal game is a high stakes money game,it is not about justice,I was a fool to ever think it was. My life is down to legal manuvering and fanagaling.

Just as divorced people should put aside there differences for the sake of the children;Grown kids should put aside their differences for the sake of the ageing parent and work together and not against each other. That is my opinion.

Ed, my dad did not know he gave my brother POA.I guess you can say he was the last one to know,I didn't know,I was the one paying people,handling business and paying out bills.The home health nurse did not know.I was the maincaregiver,I was the one dealing with the medical the most,my brother hardly showed his face.My brother took the POA on the sly,when my dad figured that out,he got his POA back. My brother wanted the POA to see about reversing these deeds,not to be helpful-These deeds were all legal.I got something that they wanted.All of my paperwork is legal,they were notorized before my dads decline.Believeme ED when I say me and my dad.. was extremely close, we talked about everthing.There were no secrets,we discussed everything and I mean everything.My brothers never put forth the effort to be close to my dad. If my brother had POA he should have been the ones handling the bills etc.My dads exact words were I WORKED HARD ALL OF MY LIFE,WHY CAN'T I give my stuff to who I WANT.Don't you think the patient have the right to know what they are signing.I do.My brother knew dad would be mad if he realized he had the POA,THATS WHY IT WAS A SECRET.My bothers did not think my dad would live as long as he did-he screwed up their plans by living.My brothers thought they could come in an lead him around by a nose-ring because he was sick-they could not.My dad was a very manly man,and very stubborn no one could tell he what to do,he could be asked or reasoned with but not told.

TENN:

As you know, a POA (whether it's general or durable) is a legal document that allows you to act on behalf of John/Jeff on certain matters. I've come across some POAs on this forum that go on a power trip the moment they get it and delude themselves into believing they control the caregivee's every breath and there's nothing they can do about it. Those are the ones who toot their own horn too much and scream it to the four winds.

Ask yourself: "Does everyone besides medical and social service providers need to know I have POA, or is it me who needs to let them know?" Actually, have you asked your father and Jeff if they want everyone else to know their business? Don't mean to offend you, but you should ask them first. If decisions are to be made that can have a fundamental impact on the quality of their lives they should be in on it; however insignificant the matter might seem to be.

Tennessee, your dad sounds like he was a rare gem and I think you must be much like him. Unfortunately your father didn't make the best decisions in figuring out how to pass on his estate and now you are left with this mess. Thank you for explaining why the people in your community would be unable to back you up if you went public about this matter. It was just an idea that came to my mind. I hope you are given some advice that WILL be of help to you. I will look forward to further postings.

I have learned on this site the duties of POA and I have also learned on this site my brother failed miserably at his duties.I think he was to busy trying to undermine me and do me in to concentrate on the job at hand.I guess you can say since he wasn't doing it,I did.Not good thing legally.He also has failed at being executor,hasn't done half of what he should do.My dad had 22 stray dogs he cared for when he passed away,When I bought dog food,I had to buy it by the truck load.He didn't help with the dogs or the food.At the funeral the preacher said my dad didn't just help people, he valued all of gods creatures and creations-I was so proud. I wish he could come back for a day to put those lawyers in their place.Lawyers like to pick on the weak and down-trotted,they wouldn't be able to stand up to a man.The cowards.

Why would you want to keep it a secret???

I can't tell you about DPOA (but in my husband's family, it's no secret who is DPOA for my m-i-l). As for my family, when my mom was literally near death's door (in the hospital), my oldest sister was executrix of my mom's will. Well, it turned out that my mom changed executrix's of her will and didn't tell anyone. My younger sister was the new executrix and it was a surprise to her.

if you think that is going to cause problems, keep it quiet and reveal it when the time is ready/can't wait anymore

Actually, the POA has legal responsibilities and is accountable to the heirs of the estate. I e-mail everyone involved when there is an issue so that there is a permanent record of everyone receiving notification and their comments.

lcs,I used to be known as the one who hated tree killers,but the lawyers have painted me as the greedy one wanting to cut the trees for my own wealth.Thats when I threw it out there the idea of a non-profit park named after my dad and in his honour- that would bring me great joy. Ponds for fishing,hiking,maybe a ball field, pumpkin maze at halloween,stuff like that.My lawyer no.2 told me my dad is dead and he doesn't matter anymore,said no one will even know who he is 50 years from now.My dad had just passed a way when he said this to me.Thats when I thought of donating the land,so people 50 years from now would know how great my dad was and he wouldn't be forgotten. They tell me I can't do that either. If my own lawyers are so heartless and mean, you can imagine how mean the opposite side is..

Naheaton,My dad has passed,that is why they waited for his death,even though he screwed up and signed some stuff he should not have signed,he tried to make it right,He told them you took advantage of me before,because I'm old and sick,but your not getting me again.He stood in there way by being alive.Thats way I was running him to the hospital and they were not.Pretty aweful stuff...huh.Believe it or not I USE TO THINK i had a perfect family,never thought it would come to this. It took me two years crying over the betrayall before I could focus. Let me tell you another thing about lawyers ,they hate,really hate emotional cryers.I feel the worst for my dad and what he went though,and you out there who are mothers will understand about hurting for your childs hurt.So,I hurt for three of us.Its hard to explain to a little kid these grown men care more about money than them and are getting big bucks to lie.Children get punished for lieing,but lawyers call it a job.I was in my own little isolated world for so long,I didn't even realized had bad the world had gotten.

To answer the question about small town commununity support-You couldn't get enough people together to light a cigerette. This is a very small poor rural area.These people don't want or need any trouble from my brother, the attorney.They figure if they would do this to their dad,sister and niece-what would they do to a stranger.Example-we had to move because our electricity was turned off-brothers have friends at electric company.My bill was paid,but no get electric.Lived in a motel for a month or so,then got a apt. in different county,nice to have electrity. Got lawyer she inquired,none of this makes sense she said.I got electric turned back on-this time they made it look like I WAS STEALING IT,NO METER on pole,I took pictures called lawyer,informed her;Meter man came out a couple weeks later-uh huh-caught you stealing electrity,wanted to have me arrested-thankfully I SAW THAT ONE COMING.I had joint account with my dad since the 80's,my brother came and wiped out account.I didn't officially take daddys name off of the account. I guess I'M not to bright legally.Everyone knows I'm being picked on,from the newspaper to the court house.Small places are not like big cities,there are no special interest groups to report abuse to,unless you call the good old boys club, a special interest group-which they are very tight and do look after there own. Woman on the whole are not treated very well here.The electric company also locke us out of our property.I closed my gate only to come back to it with a big lock on it reading ELECTRIC COM. YES, my bill was paid.I CALLED ASKING 'whats up with the locke', THE GUY JUST LAUGHED.I didn't think it was funny,I was cussing and yelling,my daughter was crying,why are they doing this to us.....I had to wake a neighbor up to get his very large saw to cut it off..was not a cheap lock.even though it had their name on it.they never admitted to it.Go ahead and say it',They can't do that,thats illegal', well, they can do that and they did. These are just some of the reasons,people don't step up to the plate to help.People in high places can make ones life a living hell.

Since my brothers took no interest in the farm,nor my dads health, he wanted a Life Estate deed drawn up for the farms.We were told this would be the best way to keep the land in the family,stay out of probate court and not get robbed tax wise.Everything would stay the same until he died and then it would roll on over to me.He wanted me to keep everything the same and carry on business as usual.He told my brother the attorney what he had given me,he also told him he wanted to do the same for him and his other grandchild-life estate deed.The taxes are light if you keep it in family,Enormous if you sell,atleast thats what we understood.He did not want it to ever be sold.Apparentlly my brother did not agree with all of this.My youngest brother got left out altogether--I told my dad they where going to be mad,he said,' I don't care they have never done a dang thing to make my life any easier',he said they had plenty of money of their own and their mates were still alive and I've always have been there for him.Which is true.He said he did not want it in a Will,being my brother was a attorney,he could overturn it. He said no one could mess with a deed.He said you can't give away something that has already been given. On this trip to Disney World,My brother[the attorney] had a bunch of his legal friends come in-alot of conflicting papers were signed,thats also when he got POA.My dad signed a will giving away,what I Already was given.The same exact secretary even drew up the papers-She worked at one attorney and went across the street to work for my brothers friend.This happened in OCTOBER and I was served papers being sued by my own father and brother in the following Feb. I was the main help my dad had,I showed him the papers and told him if he wanted it back all he had to do was ask.I didn't want something he didn't want me to have.I could tell that he was just as stunned as I was.He said he didn't sign those papers to sue me-but it was his signature-I really believe he thought he was signing something elese.My brother kept his POA secret-my dad didn't know he had it until 6 months later-he wanted it back-so then my other brother[who got left out] came into the picture,told daddy and me he was getting a attorney to get his POA back.Daddy signed more papers-again they were against me-twice now.He was sick'wasn't suppose to be alive-blind in one eye.He felt so bad when I explain what he had done.He knew what I went through with Jeff and the cancer,he knew what I went through with him and the farm.During all of this my brothers still didn't come down and help-they were trying to manuver legally from afar.Now the legal machine was a rolling.They tried to make my dad do a deposition,he blasted the attorneys verbally and refused to swear in.My brother said that deposition costs him 17,000 dollars and he was getting back one way or another.My child was my dads main concern,he called her he's little angel-My brother told my dad he was going to destroy her and me.I guess you can say my brother was really,really mad.My dad went to his grave knowing all of this.My brothers told my dad if he didn't reverse that deed that he would never lay eyes on them again.My attorney brother showed up about 2 weeks before his death,my youngest brother kept his word and never even came to the funeral.He is also keeping his word about destroying us. I never left my dads' side through all of this.If it was just one brother it would have already been thrown out but since one brother is a DA /ATTORNEY,it is a whole different ballgame.After my dads death the attorneys were wide open.I didn't even know what the estate was worth nor did I care,but the attorneys and my brothers surely care.Our loving father/daughter relationship is now discribed as secretive and confidential by the lawyers.Two lawyers of my brothers have dropped out-knowing how wrong there are,but it is always easy to find a replacement-They figure widows and children are easy marks. Just as they figure old people are.This new set of ambulance chasers are doing it on percentage with what they can take from us.They will stop at nothing.My dad told me to fight-thats what I'm been doing.Attorneys do not fight and humiliate other attorneys-it just does not happen.

Tennessee, looking forward to hearing the continuation of the saga. I am afraid, though, that the brothers were up to no good. Right?

When my mate was going through cancer,we promised my little girl a trip to disney world as a family.He took a turn for the worst and that promise wasn't upheld.After I moved back in with my dad,I made reservations at the castle with Cinderella for her birthday.I made the reservations6-8 months in advance.My dad was doing good at the time but started going downhill a month or two before the big day for her.He was hospitalized for several weeks.I was going to cancel my reservation,Disney world told me I wouldn't lose any money,just pospone it.Mind you this is what I WAS GOING TO DO----but my brothers and their wives told me not to,they said they for once will take care of my dad,they said my daughter needed this-because of her,daddy dying-don't disappoint her they said.I was actually happy they were concern-acting like a family-doing what they should do.Daddy was fresh out of hospital,by a week or so,by my brothers encouragement,we left for this trip to disney world to celebrate her birthday.This is where our troubles begin.I should have known they were up to no good.They never helped us before.This saga will continue-off to school bus.................

Tennessee, there was a large filbert orchard here in town that these people owned for decades. When they died, they stipulated that the property was NOT to be sold, but donated to park & recreation. The people didn't care so much about the trees, but they wanted the property to be used by the public. It's now a skate park & basketball court. It's grassy in parts and has places for kids to play. It lays in between two schools, so it's always full of kids. Maybe that's the way to go when your dad dies, I don't know.

tennessee--financial POA ended with your father's passing away. If your father also had a Will, then your question must be who is the Executor of that Will? If it is also Brother POA, (you need to verify that with the County office where the Will was filed) then Brother POA is obligated to follow your father's wishes as stated in the Will. POA gives him no authority to change the Will or disregard it. If your father did not have a Will you have a legal right to contest your brother's disposition of the estate. And the State will be very interested in how the money is distributed because there is a process called "probate" that must be used to ensure all taxes and bills due are paid before any money is distributed to the heirs. Either way, Brother POA may have outsmarted himself because YOU had no legal obligation to do anything you did for your father. But Brother POA did have an obligation. If he did not exercise that obligation in the best interest of your father, then you are in a position to be named Executor for your father on behalf of the State, if he did not have a Will. If he did have a Will and Brother POA is not the Executor he has no more say in how your fathers estate is distributed than anyone else in the family. So the two quest ions you need to ask are: 1) Did dad have a valid Will (verify this with the County) 2) If yes, who is named Executor of that Will. If you get the run-around from Brother POA or the County authorities I would get my own Attorney because it sounds like there may be a lot of money growing on those trees and an Attorney might work for a percentage of the money he recovers for you instead of charging you a retainer fee.

Tennessee, I am grasping for an idea as to how you might be able to protect the trees that your dad said he didn't won't cut by this timber company. I am wondering if the people of your small community know about your present situation? Do they know you are trying to protect the trees? I presume they would side with you on this so, since you can't reason with your brothers (who are blinded by dollar signs), what if you and your neighbours raised (or THREATENED to raise) a public protest that would attract the attention of radio stations, TV stations and newspapers. I would hope this action (or threatened action) might shame your brothers into being less greedy because definitely you would be the fellow in the "white hat" whereas your brothers (especially the one that kept being POA a secret) would be the fellows in the "black hats". I doubt that your lawyer brother would be happy to be portrayed in the media as the greedy, secretive person he seems to be. You might be able to win the battle this way. If you did this you wouldn't have to, in fact you MUSTN'T !! accuse your brothers of anything (as you would have to be careful not to say anything that would give the brothers a chance to sue you for false statements etc.) You would have to stick STRICTLY to protecting the trees (which I would guess but am not sure would be your right) but if the media asked who besides the timber company were anxious for the trees to be cut down, you could refer the media to your brother who has POA. I must admit that I don't understand, if you and your dad were so closely connected and seemed to think the same way, WHY your dad didn't leave the land to you since it sounds like you would have protected it. Who was the land left to? Was it left to all of your father's offspring and you are the only one who wants to protect the trees? Have you seen your father's will? It sounds like you have gone to lawyers about this so I presume those lawyers have checked into the legality of your brother being POA and the legality of the present land ownership.

I am truly sorry that you were the one who "tended to matters" for at least ten years and now, when the work is all done, your brothers are showing up and hovering around like buzzards. Unfortunately, this often seems to happen. Good luck in dealing with these SOB's (sons of buzzards). :-)

There are 2 types of POA--if it is for Health-your physicians should know of this, if it is for finance, you might want to let your financial institution -and see what they have to advise, as well as any assistance that me be involved--such as social security. POA is a legal document-and you can review this with your local agency on aging. Personally, I can see no reason to keep this a secret.
Hap