We have a day-time caregiver that works from 8-4 for my parents but we need someone to stay all night. What are our options?

I just wanted to suggest you try finding someone thru your Temple or Church . I found some very good people thru ours . I did of course do background searches on them . We pay $15 an hour and she works about 16 hours a week. Id love to get some overnight help a couple times a week .

I have found some great caregiver aids thru contacting my local Temple. I assume the same could be done with Churches. I did also do checks on these people . Who i hired outside of agency . Id love to get some night time help . Im looking for funding for that. We pay our aids $15 an hour but she only works about 16 hours a week

debbie0903, are you asking the original poster mtidwe2? If so, that post was written back in 2010. Unfortunately, the original poster never came back on line to answer anyone's questions.

4pm to 8 am is 16 hours. First ten at $10/hr=$100. Next six at time and a half or $15/hr= $90. Plus what you pay as the employer for taxes, workers comp and unemployment insurance. Over $200 a day in addition to what you pay now. Check your state laws for domestic help--some have strict limits on what you can offset with room or board.

Upcountry, my gosh if I am reading this right your day care provider is working two shifts. Does the care provider stay awake all through the night? Usually a night shift person stays awake the whole time.

As for the going rate, it all depends on where you live. In the large metro areas the rates are between $25/hr to $30/hr plus or minus. Usually anything over 8 hours one would get overtime pay.

My day care provider comes in at 2:30 pm and spends the night till 9:00 am the next morning. What is the going rate for this?

Hello, are there places that will take my 84 year old father for 2 days up to a week while we go on vacation?

I don't know but when you find someone to stay at night let me know. We need someone to stay with my dad at night so my sister can go home to her husband before there relationship is ruined. hugs stormyyy

Caregiver7: Have you found another job yet? Sorry I didn't get back to you as promised. Does your mom own her home and is it paid off? I don't know how you are managing with your apartment if you are still unemployed. At any rate, it doesn't sound like you get to spend much time there anyway.

I was wondering about two things. One, is it possible to find a caregiver who would be willing to move in with your mom and provide night time care in lieu of rent. No doubt she would want a couple of nights off, maybe on weekends. The other thought was you moving in with your mom and giving up your apartment.

The reason I mention you moving in with your mom is that in many states, if a child lives with the parent in the parents home and is their caregiver, the house will be exempt from Medicaid Recovery and will go to the child. I live in Washington state and I think the requirement is that the adult caregiver child has to have been living with the parent for 3 years. The time requirement varies from state to state. In some states it's 2 years.

I know you love your mom very much and do not want to put her in a nursing home, but the day may come when it can't be avoided. If you were able to keep her home for yourself (if, in fact, she owns her home) then you would at least have a valuable asset. You could at some point sell it, relocate out of state and get on with your life.

I know money/assets are not your motivation and that you want your mom to have the care she needs and you want to have the life you need. I don't know how to give them both to you at the same time, especially if a NH is out of the question.

Keep in touch. Cattails

There are so many elderly ppl who need care, medical, physical, I pray someone will find a way for them to get the proper care. I'm a 60yr old caregiver to my mother who's 93. She's total care, but can still feed herself.I have R.A an is limited to what I can do.She has a Wonderful aide who's here with us for 4 hrs a day 6 days a week .My advice to the caregivers is to trust in the LORD, pray, believe, and He will provide for you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Him in my life. My prayers are with all caregivers and their patients. GOD bless you all.

Caregiver7, does your Mom sleep through the night? If not, you definitely need someone to come in so you can get 2 nights sleep in a row. Would it be possible to rent out your apartment to someone who could also be a part time caregiver?
It would have to be divinely manifested, I know. I'm thinking of a nursing student, or a sociology major. A quality individual who would appreciate the op and be trustworthy. Have you considered something like that? Blessings, Christina

Caregiver7: My fault. I thought you were Mtidwe2, the original poster. Well, that just goes to show you where my mind is these days. This is isn't the first time I have screwed up this way and I am making a mental not to pay better attention. I read the original poster'r profile, so that is where I came up with the husband with cancer.

I'm so sorry. I think I am doing ok, taking care of my dad 24/7 and all that entails and then I realize I made a major mistake on this thread and I have to wonder about my sanity. If you trust me to respond, I'll do it in the morning over my 2nd cup of coffee and maybe I'll do a better job for you. So sorry to be a dump shit.

Thank you for your reply and your nice wishes. I do not have a husb with cancer, Im not sure hwere it showsthat. I am living in my moms house with her though I have my own apartment which I rarely get to.
I have only my Mom who has Parkinsons and poor vision. Other than that she is healthy. She is in her early 80's.
Ive seen elder law lawyers, called vets benefits and it didnt help. My dad who passed in 04 after long history of illness and was a wonderful man, was in WWII and it seems theres nothing in his benefits to pay for his wifes care. Ive explored the special needs trust and yes, as you say they only provide a few hours a day even with medicaid. Right now I have a HC person coming 4 hrs a day 5 days a week while she is having phys and occupational therapy but that will only be for a few weeks, Still its more than Ive been able to find in 3 years. Unfortunately I also lost my job right when we got them started a few weeks ago. I am single, looking for a new job and after years of helping Mom with dad and then she got sick right after he passed I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Im a strong person and am coping the best I can but Im alone and looking at my own future. I wouldnt have changed being there for dad and I love my Mom dearly but I am at my wits end because I see no way out. She was able to be on her own up until 3 years ago I was about to get engaged and then slowly as she became quite disable almost overnight everything else in my life stopped. Its so sad and disheartening that after one has contributed in life then gets old, no one cares. So I know Im not alone in this situation but its taking my life apart and I dont know where to turn. I just did the math and realized Ill be past retirement age before I could even pay off a mortgage. But a vacation, a relationship, spending time in my own place etc seems impossible. Im sorry to have ranted but I feel hopeless and helpless and I look at her and she seems so small sometimes and I know she needs me or someone to be here and my heart goes out to her. But I mourn for my own situation and I just don't know what the answer is. I ask everyone I know but without as you say, a substatial amount of money (which isnt there) I just don't know what to do.
Kids (too late now) a marriage..a place of my own I can enjoy, moving out of state..for now I am just dreaming :(

Hello M: It sounds like you have your hands full and then some. Your profile says you are taking care of your husband who has cancer. Is that still the case? I'm asking because you said that you "deserve a small change at starting a life", so I don't know if that means you are on your own now.

M: No one is going to come into your parents home and provide them with night time care for free. I understand that you don't want to put your parents in a NH and I understand that you don't want to have to take on their care in the off hours because you need to have a life too.

You are between a rock and a hard place and my heart goes out to you. Are your parents paying out of pocket for the day time care? Even if they qualified for Medicaid, it would not cover the cost of full time in home care. In our area, state of Washington, the best medicaid can provide for in home care is about 5 hours per day, not including weekends.

If you have talked to hundreds of people, my guess is that you have not found a solution to the issue. If those of us who are caring for our parents, in our homes, could find 24 hour care for them in their own homes, care that is dependable, then we would be signing up. It doesn't exist unless there is a huge financial income base to cover it.

Can you give us an update on your personal situation? How is your husband? What is happening in your personal life. We can support you in that, but we can't lead you to something that doesn't exist.

My heart goes out to you. We have my dad living with us and it takes a toll. My mom has passed so I just have my dad. I couldn't take care of him without the support of my husband. It sounds like you are alone and I understand that you want the best for your parents. God Bless you. I am so sorry for your circumstances and I wish I could make it all good for you. If you can, please tell us more about your life. Love and Hugs.

A

the issue I have is a single elderly parent who needs overnight care and there isnt money out of pocket to pay for a live in 54k a year!!?? no there isnt a family member to help out, no I do not want to put them in a nursing home where in a week they wont know who i am or their own name and sleep the rest of their life away. I cant live with that guilt. Please dont tell me thats not the way it is - I have talked to hundres of ppl. also I do not want to spend half my life standing in the nursing home dealing with issues amidst commodes and wailing Ive spent plenty of time is hospitals I know what ive seen. If I sound bitter please exuse me, on top of losing two relationships and one apartment and my dog I have now lost my job due to the stress of trying to be 45 and take care of an elderly parent at the same time. she deservs care she deserves to be safe and I deserve a small chance at starting a life. I have tried everything the issue is I need an overnight person and there is no help except out of pocket. I would do anything to solve this very very troubling issue which has gone far beyond tenable anymore.

If you haven't found anyone to care for your parents as of today, I have a perfect match for what you're looking for a 24-hour assistance. The owners of this agency are great people with a great staff. Check out (solutionsinhomecare.com) or call (678-491-5071) and tell them Retha, told you about them. I'm sure they will be able to assist you.

Happy Calling

I agree with castoff, you may do alot better by running an ad in the paper. I am a 24/7 live in caregiver for a Alzheimer patient. I only get one day off a week, but have full room and board, meals,that I prepare,I have known this family for years, so they already knew what kind of care I would provide. But check out anyone you consider hiring. Take the time to spend time with them WITH your parents. Pay attention to how they all interact. Make sure they know how to meet the needs of your parents. Ask the hard questions, just as castoff suggested. It is unfortunate that there are not enough good paid caregivers to go around. I wish I could help more. If you have any questions about what you should ask, please feel free to contact me. I will do what I can .

I agree with castoff, you may do alot better by running an ad in the paper. I am a 24/7 live in caregiver for a Alzheimer patient. I only get one day off a week, but have full room and board, meals,that I prepare,I have known this family for years, so they already knew what kind of care I would provide. But check out anyone you consider hiring. Take the time to spend time with them WITH your parents. Pay attention to how they all interact. Make sure they know how to meet the needs of your parents. Ask the hard questions, just as castoff suggested. It is unfortunate that there are not enough good paid caregivers to go around. I wish I could help more. If you have any questions about what you should ask, please feel free to contact me. I will do what I can .

An at home helper/one for day and the other for night. The night person can have rent free and weekends off. Your day person can have two days off during the week and food meals free/breakfast /lunch.

You can interview homecare services in your area. Ask about late shift right away on the phone to weed out the ones that don't offer night watch.
They charge $17-20 hour. You can also place an add in the local paper or craig's list. The services often pay the aides minimum wage & keep the rest for themselves, so if you offer $10 hr or more you will get a better group of candidates.
Investigate these people thoroughly!!!! Check references & ask the hard questions during the interview. The time you spend now will make all the difference.