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boots Asked June 2010

Will it upset my mom when she comes home to see that I have started to pack up and discard items from her home?

NancyH Jun 2010
When my mother-in-law had to downsize and move from her little house to an asst living place, we had to get rid of lots of stuff. BUT she was in on what we kept and what she couldn't take with her. She hated the move (still does) but she wanted the family to have first pick of her stuff. So we got the family together one Saturday, with her there, and went through everything. The rest we donated. It was fairly painless, not to be confused with it being a 'big pain' which it was. :)

PirateGal Jun 2010
You never explained what she is coming home from. I know in my mom's case...I am only cleaning up things out of sight out of mind, not to disturb her psyche. I would not want anyone rumaging up my stuff if I wasn't DEAD yet...! As long as I was still coherent!

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MiaMadre Jun 2010
I don't know the circumstances of your actions, but I will ask this. Would it bother you if someone came into your home and removed your mementos? I would think that it would.

If her home is unsafe because of clutter, or hazards, then 'cleaning up' isn't an unreasonable action, but there may be repercussions.

What is her mental/physical condition? The reaction you are going to get is how agreeable (and understanding) your Mother is to your help. If I were you, I would expect to have quite a 'situation' on your hands, judging from my personal experience with my mother with Alzheimer's and her 'cluttered home'. My mother did NOT want me to touch any of her things, until I asked her if she wanted to DONATE some things to the homeless shelter and the child's garage sale!

What seems to you like a nobel gesture, may seem like a personal attack to your Mother. Unless she asked you to do so *(clean up) anything can happen.

But I will ask. Why would you want to remove her mementos? Garbage, junk, trash removal almost (ALMOST) anyone can understand, but mementos?

Also, some elderly have 'hoarding tendancies' and any and ALL things are important to them. You know the saying, "one man's junk is another's treasure'.

My initial guess is that it WILL upset your mother. Be careful what you discard, you may be throwing out more than you realize. ,

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