My dad suffers from some health conditions and my siblings and I try to help but he is set in his ways. What can we do, we feel like giving up?

My dad is 84 and my mother is 87. You are fortunate to have that sister in this with you. I do not. After a fall last December, it was necessary to move my dad to a nursing home (after a hospital stay). My mother "wanted him HOME". She could no longer take care of him. Both had been extremely independent all their lives. I had to "put my big girl pants on" and stop being the daughter that did what my parents said and did what had to be done. It was time to take care of THEM even if they balked and said things that cut to the core. After several months of not backing down (even if it left me totally torn apart) things have finally gotten better (not great but so much better). Your dad is still trying to maintain the position he had established before. You and your sister will need to decide whether you are going to do what you should do or be bullied and regret it later, for not taking care of him when he needed it. It seems your brother has already made his decision. You are the ones that have to decide what you can live with. Dad may be challenging you to see if you will really care for him. If you do what needs to be done,, it may get easier. My mother kept asking me "how are you going to deal with ..." My reply was' I am just going to talk to him". It was a challenge from her as to whether she can trust me to be responsible for them.

I don't know the answer, i have been in the same situation but my father met a goldigger 57 yo. I have been treated bad since and finnally had a breakdown. Everyone turned agaist me and i have put 25 thous into his house now i am not allowed there to even get my own stuff. Remember what may happen to you when a demented man 84 yo wants a 57 yo goldigger, who wants his daughter out of the picture. Very bad things can happenen to you, remember even if you know your heart is in the right place. All i tried to do is help, because i loved him and trusted him, but dementia and younger woman took control and i was turned into the bad one. Be careful. Good luck.