My dad passed away 3 months ago and mom doesn't talk about it at all, even when I try to bring it up. How should I be handling this?

One example of what i don't think is normal grief is my MIL continuing to be angry at her husband for dying 14 years ago! Why? Because her slave is not around to do this or that for 'her worship-fullness' the borderline queen! He could not even dare order ice tea on father's day without her majesty's approval. While she spoke and still speaks of equal rights, etc. never treated her husband, her daughters or anyone else that way.

I think she is probably going through her own grieving process inside, some people dont even feel it right away or even acknowledge it, til way after the fact, as somehow they have blocked out their feelings and then maybe one day it will all come spewing out, or it will happen slowly in her time, If it were me I wouldnt push the issue, not u alone anyway, therapy may be a good idea if she is willing, sometimes moms fight that, mine would, actually when her husband died, she blamed him for deserting her, and was mad at him instead of sad! That is quite common too...She felt like he just planned to die, and left her holding the ball of life to continue all alone, and she was very dependant upon him, she was totally shell shocked, and more upset at him, and oh boy he didnt deserve that at all, he didnt know he had cancer, and when they operated and opened him up it was all through him, every organ was inflamed and infected with it, so they had to close him back up, and then he went straight to a hospice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,nothing anyone would plan or want for themselves, but it took my mother years to forgive, and understand that he didnt do that on purpose to her!

Has anyone mentioned the five stages of grief to you? Denial, bargainning,
anger, depression and acceptance. I think I have that correct. They come in no order and she will go in and out of the different stages. It is all 100 percent normal. I hope she will find peace in the acceptance phase sooner rather than later but everyone goes at their own pace.
God Bless

It took my mom a long time to talk about my dad without crying. Each of us grieve in our own way. And like Lynn said, it took my mom almost 2 years before she would go through dad's clothes and give them away.

I would Google healthy and unhealthy grief experiences.

Or I'd Google signs of unhealthy grief or signs of being stuck in the grief process.

Or Google when does a grieving person need to see a therapist.

A therapist is a good idea, but you can't make her go and it may or may not be a good time to suggest. In that case, some therapy to learn how to help someone in grief like this would be money and time well spent in my opinion.

when my grandfather die my grandma eventually stop talking. she is grieving. she is depressed. she is in chock. she can't believe that her love of her life has die. you should make sure that she is taking care of her daily activities and suggest her to talk to a social worker or somebody that she feels comfortable with.

All I can say is Amen to all of the above. All of us grieve diffenently. I understand how especially difficult when a couple have lived as man and wife for so many years. It takes time. Do keep an eye out to make sure they're eating, getting plenty of fluids, keeping up with themselvs. If a lady stops taking care of herself (you know what I'm talking about) it's time to worry.

It can take a long long time to adjust to such a loss. Trust that your mother is doing the best thing for hereself. Is she taking care of regular things.. . eating, sleeping, visiting, washing? If so - let her be but stay close and love her.

My mom went through a similar phase; it took her about 6 months to mention my dad. We didn't push it. They were married 55 years and she missed him so much that she just had to push it to the back of her mind or she'd spend all day crying. Sometimes we'd - the kids - would joke about "what would dad say" in per prescense and she'd just smile. After she began talking about him, she'd get teary eyed but never despondent. It also took a couple of years before she'd go through his things and give away clothes and stuff. All of his other things are still in the garage - 13 years later. Even though she's been in a nursing home for a year, it made all of us feel better that "home" was just the same. There will be time to go through it all once she's gone...

I realized later that mom was afraid of life without him. We stayed close, visited often and got her out with her friends and the same activities as before to help her understand that HER life could be good. We let her know that she wasn't going through life alone, that she still had all of us. We made it a point to ensure she was included and also did things with her individually - mother-daughter. I even helped her explore some things in which she'd always been interested but didn't have time to investigate. She had a great decade after he passed. I hope your mom will too!