ibarro, like you, I have known elders left unattended for hours at a time in nursing homes with not good results. This year, one of my friends' parents died in a nursing - after a fall. No one on staff reported that the resident had fallen. My friend's parent had only been in the home 3 weeks when she fell off her nursing home bed. Prior to the nursing home placement, funny how she had beenm ok in her own home, with Alzheimer's for more than a year. She died in less than 2 weeks after her fall. It's like the teapot calling the kettle black! That's gall.
By the way, the attorney suggestion makes sense, though I have no doubt that attorney fees are out the stratosphere as well. The financial toll of caregiving is enough to drive any caregiver stark raving mad.
ruthcapers, what a nightmare! I, too, would be angry if any investigator showed up in my home at any time, for any reason. There is no nursing home that has staffing sufficient to supervise any of its residents for even 2 conscutive hours, let alone 6 hours. A family caregiver should not be held to a higher standard that a regulated institution is able to provide. I'm with you on the lacking common sense and understanding. Hope your situation with the investigator is resolved as soon as possible. That has to be demoralizing to any caregiver and even more demoralizing to the person being cared for when her caregiver is under attack like that. I understand your anger for sure. That is a slap in the face to any caregiver when it is not warranted. Hang in there and be calm in presenting your facts, though it may be hard for you to not tell the investigator to go take a long walk off a short pier.
if kimberphillips asked you if you have spoken to a lawyer yet is because she is very right to suggest you to do so. Yes, you need to talk to a lawyer. Don't get caught unprepared by a court order for you to show up before a judge. Don't panic! Be ready. You shouldn't talk to this nurse anymore without consulting with a lawyer, because you told her that you took your mom to a bar, so they really think that you are giving alcohol to your mom or leaving her unattended while you get drunk in a bar. It's true that they left her unattended in the nursing home because I know a family friend who her mother got stitches on her legs and on her head because she was left unattended in this nursing home. Once she was found unresponsive. Another time she was found wandering and sleeping in another male resident's bed. The Nursing Home staffs and employees don't pay attention to these alzheimer patients because for them they are CRAZY. They really don't care fot their wellbeing...JUST THEIR MONEY, BELIEVE ME. I am with you, so GET A LAWYER!! If they have accused you of elder abuse, this is very serious, after your name get clear I WOULD SUE that nurse!. if you keep going behind that nurse without a lawyer, she could write you down on your record that you are afraid of the accusation because you keep talking or you are behind her asking her what she was thinking. Learn, never again tell them what you to for fun with your mother.
I haven't done that (spoken to an attorney). I don't think it would do any good. I am going to see the nurse who reported that I take her to bars in a few minutes. I am going to ask her what she thought she was doing. I'm also going to let her know that it hurt us both.
"I am reposting my last post because it had errors in it.)
I was recently reported to Elder Protection Services by a home health agency (through medicare.) The social worker at the home health agency told me that if they suspected neglect, they were mandated to report it. My mother who has dementia picks herself and sometimes will open up a wound and it will bleed. The home health social worker said that if I was watching my mother that wouldn't happen. Well folks, it is impossible to watch someone all the time and live. You have to go to the bathroom and shower once in a while! (Besides, my mom is not in that kind of need. When she was in a nursing home they left her alone 90% of the time she was awake.) Anyway, the home health social worker said she would not be concerned and report me if I hired an outside caregiver for at least 6 hours a day. That would cost $3000 more a month. Maybe in her world that can happen but not in mine.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I "take my mother to bars." One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour beer and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.
I was recently reported to Elder Protection Services by if they suspected neglect and they were mandated to report it. My mother who has dementia picks herself and sometimes will open up a wound and it will bleed. The home health social worker said that if I was watching my mother that wouldn't happen. Well folks, it is impossible to watch someone all the time and live. You have to go to the bathroom and shower once in a while! (Besides, my mom is not in that kind of need. When she was in a nursing home they left her alone 90% of the time she was awake.) Anyway, the home health social worker said she would not be concerned and report me if I hired an outside caregiver for at least 6 hours a day. That would cost $3000 more a month. Maybe in her world that can happen but not in mine.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I take my mother to bars. One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour been and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.
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I was recently reported to Elder Protection Services by a home health agency (through medicare.) The social worker at the home health agency told me that if they suspected neglect, they were mandated to report it. My mother who has dementia picks herself and sometimes will open up a wound and it will bleed. The home health social worker said that if I was watching my mother that wouldn't happen. Well folks, it is impossible to watch someone all the time and live. You have to go to the bathroom and shower once in a while! (Besides, my mom is not in that kind of need. When she was in a nursing home they left her alone 90% of the time she was awake.) Anyway, the home health social worker said she would not be concerned and report me if I hired an outside caregiver for at least 6 hours a day. That would cost $3000 more a month. Maybe in her world that can happen but not in mine.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I "take my mother to bars." One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour beer and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.
I asked the county social worker if she had other concerns and she said that they (home health) reported that I take my mother to bars. One morning the nurse asked if we (my mom and I) were doing anything for fun. I told her that the night before I had taken her to the local Mexican Restaurant/bar down the street from me for a happy hour been and $1.00 tacos. How that grew to taking to her bars amazes me.
It is unpleasant to have an investigator show up at your door, no call for an appointment (so you can't fake it or hide anything if you have warning). But I don't have anything to hide. The social worker from the county already had the idea of me taking her to some sleaze bar at 2:00 in the morning, and leaving her in a wheel chair in the corner while I got drunk.
I am very angry because I know she wouldn't get better care from anyone. She was in a nursing home for a while and was seriously injured twice. (Once she was knocked out by a nurse opening a door in her face.) She picked herself crazy in the nursing homes. They don't watch her at all.
My mother is 92. I love her. I take her with me when I have to go places, we laugh everyday together. I make sure she has fun, partly because if she has fun, so do I. I make sure all of her basic needs are met and more. The home health agency is supposed to be there to help. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of my mother's needs and I don't have enough time to myself. But I don't take it out on her.
The lack of understanding and compassion really upsets me. It is stressful enough to do what I do without having to be on the defensive from home health who are supposed to be helping you. I can only assume that the nurse and social worker at the home health agency have never taken care of a person with dementia.