I know the "why" of it doesn't really matter, but I'm so scared and frustrated. How can an adult who raised 2 kids, and did all the shopping and cooking for them, not understand that our bodies need protein and fresh veggies every day? That sweetrolls and coffee are not enough to live on? If my brother and I had tried to get away with that, he would have insisted that we eat proper food. And yet here is is (88, no Alzheimer's, mild dementia), refusing every day to eat enough to keep himself going. What is he *thinking*?! What can I do to change his mind?
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It can be very frustrating-however there are some options.
Best with your caregiving experiences~
Hap.
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I try to plan every meal and sit with her..it's hard.
When he'd stop eating mom would explain it to him in auto terminology, you have to stoke the fire, fuel the engine etc, eventually it got through to him he had to eat, that and I baked chocolate chip cookies...what ever works.
Regarding why he doesn't know, unless he is suffering from advanced dementia, he may know that not eating is not a good thing. It is hard to be chronically ill and dependent on others for care, even family. It takes mental energy to eat as well as hunger pangs sometimes. Hope you can troubleshoot this one. Either way, he may need medical advice on next steps to keep him from losing strength.
It is hard, and very scary. Hang in there, and keep sharing. It usually helps when you realize that you are not alone. I try to encourage my Mom, and also try to not pressure her to eat more than she can comfortably handle at a time. That seems to offer her a sense of relief that I don't badger her on what she is not eating. Takes time to get there, though. I understand.
Milkshakes are another way of sneaking in 'good foods' back into his diet.
Use a crock pot to stimulate his appetite. I posted this on another thread just tonight, but I found that the aroma of food cooking all day, helped me stimulate Mom's appetite. Chicken soup, a pork roast, and other one pot meals are easy on you... and will fill the house with a DELICIOUS aroma all day long.
We also got a bread machine, and that REALLY made a difference! Just a few tips from one who has been down that road.
Why not join him for more meals, and ask other family members to do the same? Perhaps Dad can even help with the cooking!
Perhaps not having someone else around to eat with has changed his eating habits. My mother had bad nutritional habits when she was on her own, but when she was here with me or with one of my brothers her appetite was just fine. We never really 'discussed' her eating habits, just used the very same tricks she used on us when we weren't eating right.
We made the food, told her it was time for breakfast/lunch/or dinner and then just started the 'normal' pass the potatoes, fish, whatever and she joined right in.
Perhaps food preparation is becoming more and more difficult for him to do, so maybe make a good 'stew' and bring it over for him, OR better yet invite him over for dinner or a BBQ.
You may not change his mind immediately, but the more he is involved in the eating experience, as he once knew it with FAMILY around, perhaps his appetite will improve.