Where do I find a health care mediator that will assess my mom’s health issues and provide unbiased results and advice?

My mother is an undiagnosed probable BPD. She is high functioning in the sense that only family members are subject to her unbelievable rage episodes. (Those outside family think that she is sweet but needy for emotional support.) Dad has been diagnosed as having rapid onset Alzheimer's, but I suspect that emotional shut-down from my mother's rage episodes and crying are also a major part of his withdrawl. I live 4 hours away from them. After a lifetime of abuse, I refuse to become enmeshed in her behavior. Mother claims to have had a heart attack. She is no longer capable of functioning as an adult mentally, emotionally, or physically. She is warning me not to discuss any of this with her. She says she will suffer another heart episode if the discussion continues or during other phone calls if the issue is pressed the rage begins to spew. She refuses counseling or therapy for her issues! How do I find a professional that can assist and mediate w/ necessary decisions?