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debbie1055 Asked July 2010

My dad has a 70% blockage in his carotid artery. What can I do if I have explained what the risk is?

He refuses to talk to the neurosurgeon. I found out my Dad has a 70% blockage in his carotid artery. I have explained to him what the risk is and he refuses to go talk to the neurosurgeon. He is aware and in his right mind but I worry that I haven't done enough to get him to understand. He will soon be 89 and doesn't not want to have the procedure done. Am I doing the right thing?

LynnPO Jul 2010
Debbie - this is the hardest of all situations - when a parent decides to just let things be. We know it will mean their passing away is more likely than if they didn't have something done. If it were my parent, I'd research all the non-invasive treatments available and discuss those as possibilities with him. I'd also tell him that you worry about him being in pain or having a massive stroke and being forced to move to a nursing home. Tell him you want to help him make decisions while he is in charge - you don't want to wait until he's forced into something - a situation where there is only ONE option left. If that doesn't work then, you have to accept his decision and expect that something will happen at some point. Easier said than done, I know - been there and still dealing with the guilt but it's getting better every day. You must tell yourself that you've tried, try to approach the situation with love and caring for his quality of life Best of luck.

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