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kittycats39 Asked August 2010

My mother stays in bed ALL DAY! Is she depressed?

a bath and change her own bed sheets when she uses the bathroom,so why want she change them or take a bath

sunflo2 Nov 2012
She could be depressed or have dementia. My mom is 89; lives alone and sleeps most of the time I think. She too is physically in good health; but her body tires more easily, her mind wanders and she just wants to sleep. Little trips take a lot out of her.

Depending on her age; this may be normal; but I'm guessing depression and lethargy -- no gumption to do anything without someone else leading the activity. Make appt with Dr and get thorough workup -- blood, urine test, mental test --- set up the appt for her and make sure you tell the dr you want all these done so they set a long enough appt time for you. Make sure he is experienced in eldercare or sees alot of seniors in his practice. He may put her on mild antidepressent and vitamins to lift her spirit and energy. Good Luck

PandaRosa Nov 2012
My own mother has been staying in bed more and more since she moved in three years ago. Now she barely gets up even for dinner. The only thing that motivates her are her hair or doctor's appointments, or going out for dinner, THAT she loves.
It's tiresome, but I don't have the patience to keep urging her to get up and move around, and of course you can't just yell.
I suppose if your mother's health is reasonable it shouldn't be a problem, but sounds like she's having major cleanliness issues. Does she stay with you or is she on her own? Can you get her room cleaned up? If your mother is in the bed most of the time it shouldn't be too hard to keep the rest of the room clean.

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LynnPO Aug 2010
Chicibok - don't you DARE feel guilt over resentment! Resentment of her is perfectly NORMAL in this situation. Of course, she's happy - she's free of responsibility. My brother is like that - totally content to live in a "den" of cobwebs, dust and spills - it's disgusting. I hope you find some respite soon!

Chicibok Aug 2010
I have the same thing with my mum who lives with me. She won't doing anything for herself except getting and eating food. I have no problem with doing things for her if only she would do what she can. For example I know she can't manage the hoover but she could pick up the sweet papers on her bedroom floor. I know she can't clean her bathroom but she can keep her basin clean . . .She has no interenst in being independent. It's been 10 years now. She seem perfectly happy though and not depressed. I don't know how to approach thesubject with her and just feel resentful and then guilty all the time.

LynnPO Aug 2010
Kittie - Looking at this question and your earlier posts - I'd say you're living with some one who suffers from depression or perhaps early onset dementia. If possible get her to a doctor - call ahead and report all of her behaviors to the doctor - sit in on the appointment and see how she behaves.

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