My mom has dementia and can be violent. She fights and screams at my father who just had a heart attack. Should we medicate her to keep her calm?

I agree with Mimis... It is really hard to go through...I think you are referring to risperdol. It will help to calm you Mother but not "snow" her. Your Dad needs to rest and heal! Do they have some homecare help? It would be good for them you could check with the local Area Agency on Aging, or you local hospital. Sadly many times caregivers will pre-decease their loved one. take care, j

You need someone who specializes in the diagnosis and care of dementia patients. Please read the books i told you about. You can also go on the alz.org forum site. There is a drug whose first letter begins with an R. that a lot of people take.
If you have a copy of : The 36 Hour Day", check out sundowning.
Good luck.

thanks for your replies. We need to find a new doctor. He only wants to prescribe her lexapro (which she has been taking for almost a year now & we see NO difference) we tried to get him to prescribe her something like a valium or larazapan because they seem to help her calm down (we got some from her younger sister). We don't want to give it to her every minute of the day, some parts of her day are fine. Other times, she's screaming & arguing about things that happened 40 years ago. We're taking her back to her doctor next week, if he doesn't give her something I think we need to find a new doctor. It's a shame because my mother really likes him.

Yes, by all means speak to her doctor.

Also get a copy of "Creating Moments of Joy ' by Jolene Brackey.
And if she still needs more help, delve into Naomi Feil's, The Validation Method. Read everything on line, but in order to practice it, you'll need to read at least one of her books.

Yes. Talk to her doctor. The difference, I'm told, is like Night and Day.
~FyreFly