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goddess26 Asked October 2010

Is it legal for my aunt to take things from my grandmother if she has POA?

My aunt has POA over my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's disease. My aunt recently moved her into another facility that specializes in the specific disease but when my aunt moved here she did not move any other family members things to my grandmothers new place ( pictures, things that my cousin's bought or made). Is that legal? Can my aunt take things like that from my grandmother? I'm very confused about this because if my grandmother does not have pictures of her other family members, i'm afraid that when she gets worse, she will not remember that she has other children that love her very much.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Oct 2010
This seems to be more of an issue of morality than legality. The POA isn't supposed to just take things at will. You are entirely right that your grandmother needs familiar objects around - they are vital to her well being. Try to find a non-family person who can talk to your aunt, as it's really hard on everyone if you have to go to court. Family mediators can help, too. Your aunt doesn't seem to be acting in good faith when it comes to your grandmother's welfare, but she may be just insensitive to your grandmother's needs. Try a family friend or someone else and see if they will help you.

Good luck,
Carol

MiaMadre Oct 2010
Why not call a FAMILY meeting with an OMSBUDSMAN (from the new facility) present to discuss ANY issues you have with the care of your grandmother?

Do you still have your mother or father? If you do, get them involved. If not, my heart goes out to you. But your cousins and other family should rally around and TALK (nicely of course) to your aunt to see just what is going on.

Surely you can bring more pictures to the new facility, and perhaps JUST perhaps your aunt hasn't moved more of her 'old' things to the new facility because of time constraints OR facility limits. I know that my mothers things were limited to personal pictures, and a few stuffed toys. Personal furniture was not allowed, and even too many clothes were discouraged. In memory units things go missing quickly. Other forgetful patients may think that the things are theirs and take them 'back' to the room. Other things are thrown away, so any expensive items are not recommended.

OF COURSE the one way for your grandmother NOT to forget you is to visit often, and bring something to do with you. Don't make each visit a 'memory test' but do keep her involved in her family. Even if doesn't remember everyone, by name, she will FEEL the love and compassionate you have!!

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