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hcarey Asked October 2010

How can you get them to stop messing with a wound that won't heal due to them messing with it all the time?!?!?!

I might have mentioned this, but after this mornings episode I fixed the issue and came running back to my computer! Arrrrrggggggg!!!! Low down is, somehow she got red spots on her ankles and since she won't stop messing with them she now has a hole in one of her legs! Doc said put this medicated "Una boot" gause on, wrap it and don't touch it, or mess with it for atleast every 4 days, It WAS getting better , but she all of a sudden thinks she HAS to mess with it! This has been going on for months now and last night I caught her in the bathroom washing it with Water and Honey!!!!!!! OMG!!! How many times can you tell them to not do something and they keep doing it over and over and over again?! So this morning I told her that my friend at work that used to work in Con homes said if she don't stop it, they will put her in a con home and keep her in bed so she can't touch it! Well this morning we had "The talk" again and she had more wraps on it, I explained my new found knowledge and asked her why she can't follow docs orders?! Once I told her about the con home she said OK, I promis....howmany times have I herd this?!?! Well now its bright red and sticky so I had to wash it off, put the medicine wrap on her foot and 1 wrap to go over the top as perscribed! Of course she had to put the hand made sock cover her friend made her at the blind center yesterday, but it is very loos and hopefully it will fullfill her need to not follow docs orders! She is staying home today, elevating her feet, so I hope! When I took off all of those wraps on her foot they were covered in the dogs blonde hair!!!!!!!! Heck, it's more than likely all the dog fur exposure, her hole is back and red all around it from the honey I suppose! How the heck will it ever heal if she forgets she promised and starts to mess with it? There is not enough drugs in this world to keep me from going insane!!!!!!!!

castoff Oct 2010
HC, You can also use the roll gauze to wrap so it's too complicated to get off. IE: around the ankle & the foot alternately....& use a wound wash solution on it that you can get at the drug store? I used peroxide on wounds for years but it may be too harsh for older folks.

hcarey Oct 2010
I decided to get into the solution after I managed to get dressed and went to a memory care facility just a few minutes from my home. I can't stay home and watch her 24/7...but at the same time I can't put her in a place she cannot afford. Memory Care is outrageous!!! And I think she would be better in that type of enviroment vs assisted living....its borderline, but with Memory care the dog option is a bit hard and if we take the dog away I don't think she will want to live much longer. Just more possibilities to look at and im going to keep searching for a solution to improve her care. I will try that tape idea...Thanks! might need to use it on her hands not her feet! LOL

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castoff Oct 2010
You can tape the sock on. No too tight but around the ankle loosely just under the top of the sock (on the sock-not to skin). My mom's foot doc does this & she doesn't mess with it.
If the spots are dry skin then you can apply lotion, but not on the wound of course. This may stop more wounds from forming. Their skin gets paper thin as they get older. If we put a bandaid on mom her skin comes off with it when we try to remove it. A tricky proceedure at best.

castoff Oct 2010
HC, The record gets stuck & it stays there. Every once in awhile I'm able to strike a key with my mom, but for the most part I can talk til I'm blue & it doesn't sink in.
They are the parents and think they know better than we to their own hurt. They get these ideas in their heads & refuse to let them go. They think they are still clever even though theior capacities are severely diminished.
The only answer I have is in home care while you're gone, or the daycare that you already have. They'll listen to their "friend's" crazy ass ideas before they will listen to your's because you are "just a kid". No way I know of around that.
I wish you the best.
An example: Spot cleaning in mom's hoarded apt. yesterday...."I'm going to use that..."...."No, I'm going to use it to fill up this trash bag!!!!!". I don't even argue with her anymore. No point. She's not reasonable enough to reason with. She can call me whatever she wants....that doesn't matter either. I'm not going to allow her to drive me nuts anymore! If I must do this then I will do it to my satisfaction, the apt will be clean whether she likes it or not!!!!!

hcarey Oct 2010
This is affecting me to the point I am still in my robe and have to be to work in 10 mins! And I love my job! I need to find other means for her care, I have been struggling with this for almost a year now and I am good when I am not loosing it, but I am loosing it more than I am handling it so it seems!

MiaMadre Oct 2010
Not insanity.... DEMENTIA. Alzheimer's, or otherwise. Talk to her doctor about this too

hcarey Oct 2010
We are talking the honey in the kitchen stuff. You know the container that looks like a bear! Not sure that counts. LOL SHe goes to a blind center daily and they watch her, but it won't stop her from messing with it! Thats where she got her miracle sock yesterday! I am sure the honey was suggested there as well! Regardless of where she is, she messes with it. All I can do is knock her out at this point. If I take her to the Blind center she will complain she has been on it too much, but the next sentence she will say it don't hurt when she is walking on it! Getting old sucks period! Can't remember what you say one sentence from the next, swear off bad things while in the next breathe your doing those exact things that you swore off! Insanity!!!!

MiaMadre Oct 2010
Actually... MANUKA honey is used for healing. Of course I can understand your concern about your mothers wound and perhaps having something to DIVERT her attention may help? Does she have supervision when you are not there? If she doesn't she needs to. Even taking her to a Senior Center (Day care) might help. There she can be monitored and may even entertain herself and forget about her 'spots'.

Kids 'pick' at wounds because they it itches, perhaps there is some discomfort. Ask ANOTHER doctor what he would recommend.

Keep her monitored and 'entertained'. God Bless

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