It sound like your questions need to be taken up with elder care or a elder care attorney. if your mom was the power of attorney over your father affairs, and now she has some poblems, she can not legally make any decsions about cerrtain tings. you can first take her to your family doctor for a test and then seek out some kind of assistance. Since you have been taken care of her. that is why it is so important at times when families have their own family members steping in and you have been the one taking care of a loved one. Some times it can even be the persons friends or neighbors.I know this is a hard time for you but take care and get things in order. Bless you. The complications of Alheimers /dementia can take a biger toll on the caregiver. thank god my mom lsten to the lawyers after my brother was being so mean and nasty to her that she went to a lawyer and had all her affairs in order. I was the one both mom and the lawyers agree, would be her best choice. I took care of her ten years. Yes she had complications of Alheimers and the dementia at the end but I was there for her.
tx for all the answers- mother signed a durable power of attorney almost 10 years ago- I took care of dad until he passed away from complications of Alheimers and she has copd, advanced empysema - I have been her care taker as long as I can remember- now that she is 84 she wants to revoke it- remove me from her will- and leave whatever she has left to either someone else or the new well meaning church friends-she has changed her will three times - she left my siblings out because she was mad at them at one time or another- before dad died I promised him that I would do his wishes and that was treat all his children equally. But it is what it is and I guess you can choose to live your live regardless of what is morally or ethically right -her damage will go on even when she is no longer with us. My sister left long ago - my brother kept in contact but kept his distance- and I should have done the same.
Ok, now I get the picture. If she can prove herself to be mentally competent she can change her POA. Physical limitations should not be an issue unless she was not competent enough to recognize and consider them. Which would go back to her mental competence issue.
There is a difference in some states with Durable power of attorney and just -plain power of attorney. If a person is getting older sometimes they want to pick someone they care for and know will take care of them the best they can, that is does when the person is of their sound mind, how ever when a person does become ill and becomes incompetent that is when the powe of attorney takes over. It protect people if something was to happen. You would have no say so if no legal papers where ever done. respect your loved wishes. If the power of attorney does not want to take over the responsibilty they the court will appoint some one. I went through all of this, my mom had all her legal papes done up years before anything bad happen. however she did not turn the house over and in some states they will put a lein on the house if the person needs special care also if the person is placed in a nursing home. my mom had demenita 9 years very bad her last years) i was my mom caregiver/legal rep/durable power of attorney/health epoxy/ and the only one on the will. She did this all by herself, I was in New York at the time and found out from the lawyers. She was not sick then. her doctor can give a test to see if she is competent or incompetent.
sorry to be clear-I have conducted business for my mother since 1997. She has been on liquid oxygen 10 years. I have acted as her poa since 1997- on all bank transactions, real estate , doctors and hospitals since that time. I had to leave my job to care for her - I worked at a law firm but got calls every day from her that I would have to leave work for. Getting a paid caregiver was going to cost more than I made. She is angry with me now - and has asked one of my children to be her power of attorney- she refused so now she is asking church members - who really do not know what they are dealing with or who she is - an angry abusive woman. I am one of three children and the other two have had no input as far as caregiving- they refused because she abused all of us at one time or another both physical and mentally. I can't blame them but I made a promise to my dying father to care for her- when it was apparent this year that that was not possible anymore and stay sane myself- I got her her own apartment. I retain the poa - and pay for her apartment or other bills but she is wanting to revoke it. Can she revoke it under these circumstances ? Amazing now after all these years she can function in her own apartment. She was supposed to be bedridden and my father became ill caring for her- he had changed bed pans for years while she was home bound. I now realize that she really wasn't that sick- she has made it to 84 with our help . My brother is an attorney also but he wasn't clear as to if she is mentally competant but just plain abusive and mean or if I as her long term caregiver who has acted as her "agent" due to her inability to car for herself as in cannot drive-cannot go to the store -dr. would she be considered incompetant due to her physical condition- homebound on liquid oxygen. I have had differing opinions - I am reluctant to do this with because she has given large sums of money to people that would stop by - she paid one guy $1000 for a dog pen-as in chicken wire_ she had the same guy rip out walls in our rental house due to a leaking pipe -with out the landlords notice or permission then wanted the landlord to cover the expenses-the list goes on- I am just not clear as to what is the right thing to do -but I can say this - not living with her has improved my life and health -
A POA and a Durable POA can only be drawn up & signed by the patient while the patient is competent. However, the Durable POA becomes effective ONLY when the patient is incompetent but must be signed and notarized when they were competent.
If the parent is mentally incompetent, they cannot give someone a POA. If they are mentally competent to handle their business in a business like manner, then the POA can't invoke their authority. If the POA becomes unable or unwilling to do their dutires, steps can be taken to revoke their POA. If the parent changes their mind about who has their POA and they are still mentally competent, then they can revoke it and give it to whoever they choose.
Invoking POA is designed to be the last course of action--not the first. Sounds like the person in question is physically disabled, but mentally competent. In a husband and wife situation, it is customary to hold joint ownership over most bank accounts and your home and/or cars. With joint ownership, if one partner cannot shop, pay bills, and transact business matters, the other can just step in and do so with the full knowledge of the one who is disabled. This is part of what a marriage contract allows without any additional legal documents such as POA. A divorce removes this legal means of "taking charge" in the event either partner becomes disabled or mentally incompetent. So unless the physically disabled person is widowed or divorced, look for ways other than POA to provide the care management needed.
My experience in Texas is it is impossible to get my 84 yr old father declared incompetent so my mother can get a power of attorney over him. He is not agreeing to it. We talked to 2 lawyers and they say even if he knows his name he will be declared competent. in the mean time he is giving away his money, food, and is a taxi service for the neigbors. If your parent agrees to sign over power of attorney it should not matter if its for physical or mental, he is asking for the help.
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