My mother just recently moved into an assisted living facility and she is scared to live alone. What can I do to make her realize she will be okay?

You could get a CD player and play soft soothing music all night long (or all the time) it has great healing power and would help her relax and sleep.

hI~When my Mom 1st went into AL--It also was a frightening experience for her as well. She had been diagnosed with AD at the time. It was explained to me-to bring things in to her new home that were familiar to her, as pictures, nick nacks, small pieces of furniture...and to possibly spend as much time with her over the adjustment period. and/or call her on the phone. The staff was very good- and they reminised a lot with her. So to answer your question-I would ask the director of the AL-what would be appropiate for your Mom--And take it from there. Also speak with the activities person-to have them familiar of her likes-and perhaps to get her involved.
Best to you and your family,
Hap

Now that your mother is in a facility, she needs to reach out to the other residents of the home to meet the social needs once met by her nearby family. If you, or other siblings, can go visit her it will help immensely. But if you can't, she needs to make new friends with others there who are probably also reluctant to be alone. In the new environment, she is likely to feel isolated by the newness of her surroundings. But there are other people there who need her company. Staff at the facility may be able to help with this. Ask them to help your mother. Good luck to her, and to you.

The only comment I can add to this is don't get a puppy or any dog. It is TOO much responsibility even for me, a young single healthy woman living alone in an apt. My little active house dog offers me comfort, + I give him all the love + pampering in the world. But (in hindsight) not worth the expenses, cleanups and care involved. I can't keep up with him or it. My middle aged neighbor even tripped over her cat and now has to have knee surgery. PETS ARE NOT THE ANSWER.

I stayed the first couple of nights with my elderly cousin when she moved into a new place and that seemed to be a big help to her and eased her into it. Also leaving the bathroom light on all night was a help so she wasn't going to a dark room and her bedroom got just enough light from the bathroom to ease her fears.

For my mom IL, pets are OK but an extra monthly fee of $ 50 and apt cleaning annual of $ 250. 1 pet per apt max. Most of the dog owners have the same dog walker who comes twice a day to the apt building.

AL has no pets policy. I was told this was a liability as dog owners and other residents have fallen from being pulled by a dog or tripped over leash. Check before you even mention pets.

As your mom gets to socialize, she won't be as isolated and scared. I bet they have a card or board game playing group she could join (like Mexican train domino's). There is a Candyland group who bet candy for their grandchildren at my mom's place and 4 - 5 ladies who feed the birds most afternoons. I have found that there is always one or two ladies who are the welcome wagon. Talk with the staff to find out who they are and make a point of talking with them when you visit
as they can and will include your mom in things if they think positively of "you all". My experience has been that the IL & AL are somewhat like a sorority or hen house and there is a central group of ladies (the men are really just happy roosters in all this) who run things. Be nice to them & your mom is fine.

Last year we sent a fruit bouquet to the main one for a 'snack" for their card tournament. Best $ 75 spent

This all takes time for her to adjust to the place and the routine.
If she was pretty social before this, it will work out as that is her nature. Good luck!

A cat may be a good idea so she does not have to go outside in the evening. Do they ever have two bedroom apartments if not maybe some other person could visit her for a few min. before bedtime or give her a phone call.

Another thing you can do, is ask the institution if they allow
pets. If they do,maybe the wise thing to is to get her a puppy.
this way she will be so busy caring for new friend that she would no longer feel scare. Plus she will have company at all
times.

Transitioning is hard.

What system is AL on? Find out what it is and remind her about it over and over and over and do a sign on her door to remind her again. At my mom's IL, she has to put her apt # in a slot on her door by 8:30 AM every morning and put it "away" for the night by 8:30 PM. Security staff goes around to check at 9 AM/PM. If they don't, security knocks on the apt door to see what's what. I'm sure there is something similar where your mom is. Find out who does this and make a point of introducing you and your mom to them and tell they your mom is anxious.

Also I've found that having a couple of lights on timers works wonders to make them feel secure. We did torch lamps in her bedroom and living room and have them set for 5 PM - 10 PM and then again from 7 AM - 9 AM so that they never enter or wake to a dark apt. For whatever reason, she doesn't mess with the floor/torch lamps but she did for table-lamps.....
Also those LED night lights are good to have along the path from the bedroom to the bathroom and in the bathroom, so that it's never really dark and spooky.

For AL it's the same system but they check at least once during the night.

Now if she take's a medication right before bed-time, you might
have her MD request medication monitoring so that someone will be visiting her everynight so make sure it's taken and she may feel "safer" with a nightly visit. In order for insurance to pay, MD has to request this otherwise it can be an extra private pay expense.

Another thing we did was to send her every once in a while those recordable Hallmark cards - she plays them over & over.
There should be good selection of them in stores right now for
Holiday card giving.

Good luck, and just remind yourself that she is in a safe, secure place where she can socialize. The three "S's".

At the place where my mother-in-law lives (asst living) for the first week or so they would check on her during the night. She wasn't afraid to be alone, but they didn't know that. When they figured out that she wasn't disoriented in the middle of the night or scared, they left her alone. Ask if they check on the newbies at night.