When your parent doesn't want to live in assisted living or a nursing home and you have no help for them, what do you do?

There are altenatives for help. Local county or township Divisions on aging has sometimes free or inexpensive services that can make your job easier. Catholic Charities in your area may be able to provide services as well. These sevices can be in-home help for your mom, respite care for you, engaging activities at the center, meals on wheels. There is a lot out there. Also in-home care can make your life much easier. Money can be an issue. This care can run from $15-$25. per hour depending on the skill level of the person. If money is a problem, there may be neighbors, siblings, or old friends that may be able to take a couple of hours here or there to give you a spell. You'ld be surprised by who would help for free if you just ask. Expect some excuses and rejection, but once you get the word out there, you will get some help from good people who will step up. Give it a try. Your 1st responsibility is to yourself, which is to maintain your health and sanity so you can continue to be a good caregiver. Take advantage of what is out there and don't be afraid to ask for help.
God Bless and continue to pray for strength and peace.

When you say you have no help for them.....do you mean you are unable to help them, there is no outside source for assistance, or maybe you have no siblings to help you? I care for my mil, she has dementia and she tells us in no uncertain terms that she WILL NOT go to a nursing home.....ok, but my situation is a little different....she has plenty of money for outside help to come in, I am a paramedic and hubby is a physician. So we are able to take care of her. Doesn't mean it's easy....I'm retired because of herniated discs in my neck. Does your parent still live in their own home? Is it possible to move them to your home? Check with your local Division of Aging and see what types of assistance they can offer. Let us know how things go..............

I think if a situation is becoming desperate, you need to make tough calls and tough decisions and set up whatever care will enable your parents, and you, to survive. If your judgment is better than your parents, you have to make the tough decisions that are in the best interests of your parents. Getting advice from geriatric experts, either out there or on this site, is a big help.

I think you have to think what they would do if it were you, because as adult children we have to now help them as though they were the child. My mom has dementia and it is very hard especially when other siblings are not willing to help, and finanically its when more difficult when her pention is paying for her day care and she can't get help and we are trying to help our own children. It is very hard but we just have to find ways to help and prayer helps also to get through. God Bless