How do I bring my mom home from a nursing home if my father and brother are on her health proxy?

I walked in the nursing home yesterday and was standing in my moms door way to her room in time to see the nurses aid yank her arm up and pull her up in the bed. I was so upset b/c I heard her yell out in pain. I am bringing her home with me and I don;t care what people tell themselves she is helpless and I am her family. I love her so dearly and my sister put her in a place x2 that wasn;t good enough, I am going to take care of her and wash and clean her and love her the way she loved me when I was a girl. I want her end of life to be safe and loving not a chore for someone who doesn't know her....I also looked through her stuff and some of her clothes and personal items are gone.. Theft from a sick elderly person is not acceptable for me...

I agree with GemG and Queeniva89. My experience careing for Mom was conflicting in every way. My only goal was her health and safety. Other family members did not understand this. I had to argue with them about this point repeatedly. When in reality noone else wanted to deal with her or the entire situation. It was an inconvinience, not a necessity, although they were worried about were her assets and money. In their minds the issue wasn't caring for "her" it was, [This is a problem that I want to go away because it will ruin my life!] Therefore I commend you for having good heart and wanting to make your Mom happy and comfortable. I am so glad I was able to have that time with her.
I did what it took to take care of her, and all the other related chaos. I fought to get help, I was actually told by my sister well you wanted this so you deal with it. If she had to care for Mom she wanted to get paid and then all she did was complain about things that Mom did that I delt with daily, and I never took a penny for doing it. My attitude was WELCOME TO MY WORLD! That was the biggest learning experience of my life. Mom is now in the best situation, she's in a NH and stability and her independance I found out it's the best thing for her. She feels safe and secure and seems generally happy. To tell you the truth My visits with her are comforting. I am at peace knowing I reached my goal she's safe and secure. So if your family is supporting and understanding you need to figure out what is best for everyone involved. Most of all Mom.

Very true GemG. It is a very hard decision. Me and my husband took care of his mother at home for ten years. It was not an easy time for any of us. I went through learning a lot about life and living during this time. We took care of her through a broken hip, two strokes, small heart attacks, and dementia. We went to the hospital and stayed with her when she was sick. You can have a professional team to work with her through your care at home but you have to be prepared for the time that it will take to do that. GemG is also right about making sure that you are financially prepared to make that decision. It is a blessing in the end to take care of someone at home. When you make the decision to leave her in the NH make sure that she is in the right place for her needs. God bless you both.

If you Mother is unable to walk and has dementia you need to first ask yourself if she is safer and better cared for in the NH then she would be in your home. Speak to her Doctor and the NH Social Worker, as she likely needs a professional team to care for her 24/7 and unless you have the financial means to provide this type of care in your home it might be best if she stay in the NH and you and your brother visit her each day. This is a very hard decision and I do hope you and your family find the strength to find what is best for your Mother.