What do you do when your parent does not trust you when it come to their care and they want to be in total control?

Yes you let them make the decisions as long as they are sound ones when it comes to any legal, monetary or caregiving...cause later on you are the one who will be making more and more decisions as time goes on and they will have to trust you hopefully. Crossing fingers for you all goes well!

Here is something that you can try. When you want your mother to do something ,give her a choice of two ways of doing whatever it is. Then she will feel in control. I have used that in teaching and at home with my own kids when they were in high school. I have used this method with my own mother who is 99 years old. Everyone wants to be in control and make choices. Let your mom choose the soap for washing, outfits to wear, vegetables to eat, restaurants to visit, places to have her meal etc.. All you do is narrow it down to two things that are pleasing to you. Believe me, it cuts out a lot of arguing , hurt feelings, and get things done. Good luck.