How do I care for me, the caregiver?

When you are a caregiver it is so easy to put all your energy into the one you are taking care of and put yourself on the back burner-this site was a God sed for me and helped me stay sane-friends who are not caregivers do not understand if they visit nursing homes they see the residents sitting in wheelchairs all nice and clean and usually sleeping and of course that is not how it is in your home, There is a thread on this site called grossed out need to vent it has been going for almost a year and has almost 1000 post-some of the greatest people are on it we vent but also tell jokes and laugh and cry for each other and most of the people on it are in the thick of things. When I was taking care of my husband a friend from church said I wish I could help-I asked her just to give me a call once in a while to give me a break from dealing with a sick angery spouse-she never did she probably thought I was too busy. Some of us have lost the people we were caring for but stay on to help give support to those still being caregivers-we are a family we laugh and cry and sometimes fight but are always there for each other and any problem you have someone else has had the same, As for your question you can not do it alone you need me time each day or you will get sick yourself-my lawyer told my son take care of your mother because 60% of caregivers die before the one they are taking care of-just before my husband died I had to make the decision to place-I just could not take care of him anymore. If I can help you leave a note on my wall-I am on the computer often during the day and I do know what you are going through