My mother refuses to have someone, other than me, come into her home to help her with breakfast & her morning medications. How can I handle this?

Thank you both for your input. I have been putting her pills in the weekly (am & pm) containers for over a year a now. So I don't need someone to that, just to remind her to take them. I did have a woman that she has known & liked for more than 30 years who agreed that she could help me. Unfortunately she said no to the help. She became very agitated & angry, with me, not the other woman. My mom says that she doesn't need or want anyone to come in & help. But I know without my checking up on her that she forgets to take her meds & forgets to eat. She claims to have eaten but I keep track of the # of eggs in the carton, bananas, etc. so I know that she is not eating. That's why I want to have someone else help me, so I don't have to go to her home every morning. Thank you.

If you do find someone, do you want that person having access to your mom's medications? If you get someone from an agency, the person may not be permitted to touch the medications. On a weekly basis, I put my relatives in a weekly pill container. If she has not already taken her meds, the caregiver will bring her the day's container with the meds, so she can take her breakfast meds. When she leaves in the morning, the caregiver will see to it that the noon time pills are ready / remind my relative to take them. The caregiver is not permitted to touch the meds or to give them to her. My relative is capable or taking her own pills, she just needs help in getting them in weekly order. I agree with the above person on how to introduce your mother to a new caregiver. As long as you will be paying the caregiver, that will work. If you are not financial POA, you will not be able to hire a caregiver because your mom, in addition to not wanting anyone in the home, will not want to pay for anyone to come in. I don't know if a doctor's prescription for caregivers will help or not.

I think I would find someone that I was comfortable with, felt like they were a good person and trustworthy. Then I would have that person come with me to my mothers house. I would introduce my mother to that person, and tell mom that that person is going to cook her breakfast and figure out her meds while mom and I sit and talk about stuff. And while my mother and I sat and talked, the person would be finding the dishes, pots & pans etc and be busy making food. Mom and I would chime in when we had to about the pills, and what she wants for breakfast, but we'd still go on just talking. That's what I would do. If I had to do that again, the next time while mother's breakfast was being prepared, I'd have to make a phone call, or get myself out of the kitchen and do something else in order to leave mom and new helper alone together. Eventually (hopefully) your mom wouldn't need you around anymore cause she'd feel comfortable.