the last 12 months. They (doctors, emt's, psych nurses, and DCF) have all had their turn "Baker-Acting" her. Every time I show up to see her in the hospital, the following day she has been "released" with "24 hour care" (which has been a nurse 3 times per week coming to her house-NOT 24 hr care).
In addition to being repeatedly diagnosed with Schizophrenia, BiPolar, Dementia, and Alzheimer's, there is NO ONE who CAN say that she is "INCAPACITATED" that Will do so!
DCF social workers make me sign papers to assign her a "long-term social worker", and then tell me they can't help me!
I have struggled to understand why the hospitals tell me they are going to "keep my mom until she has been seen in court (on the psych ward) on a Friday, I go see her on that Sunday, and she is released first thing on Monday morning!
The Director of DCF just informed me that after reviewing my mom's medical records, that it "appears" that because I live next to her, and have the Durable Power of Attorney, that the doctors and hospitals have all viewed ME as her "24 hour caregiver" (even though, I have REPEATEDLY stated the reasons I cannot be)!
I have called Aging Services here in Tampa, FL. I have called Elder Attorneys, I have spoken to the Doctors....and NO ONE will help me!
The attorneys suggest that I file for guardianship of my mom (which comes at a cost of $3-$5,000!, takes up to 45 days, and I can still be forced to sell her home (by the court) to provide for her care in a nursing home)! If I don't file for guardianship, the state can appoint a guardian and basically do the same thing, except.....they don't care about HER wishes or where they put her!
I don't know what to do....I don't know where else to go! I am so tired of the people who CAN actually help, NOT doing so, and talking out of both sides of their mouths. I have even begun to tape record what is said to me (because of the absurdity, and because I really thought that I was misunderstanding what they said, due to being so stressed out).
My mom does not yet qualify for Medicaid, but she will very soon. At which time, it is my understanding (or so I've been told), that while she is in rehab at the nursing home, papers will be filed to have her placed in a permanent facility with medicaid. At this time, I am unsure if ANY of that can/will happen, because what "they" say will/should happen, NEVER does!
I don't have an extra $3-$5,000 dollars sitting around to begin the process of filing for guardianship. Without it though, it seems that either A)If I go anywhere near my mom to see her, and reassure her-she will be "kicked out", and sent back home to roam the streets, not eat, not take her meds, and get into cars with strangers, or B) If I don't go see her (which is killing me), then either the state will appoint a guardian, file the medicare papers, send her to some "institution", take her home and sell it, and I will have no say so (with or without the Durable POA)!
She has been seen and diagnosed by several psychiatrists, both in the hospital, and at home...YET NONE OF THEM will put in writing what is needed for ANYONE to help her!
PLEASE HELP ME! Give me a direction to go in! A suggestion.....anything!
I have been taping my mom and I's conversations, interactions, as well as my conversations with Doctors, Lawyers, and Social Workers for almost 5 months....and STILL no one will help me!
PLEASE! She has to be declared "incapacitated"...and NO ONE WHO CAN, WILL, yet they all tell me they KNOW she is!
W.T.F.??????????????
2 Answers
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First
If your mom goes on Medicaid, she will be placed in a nursing home, most likely. Yes they will take her house, etc., but at least she'd be protected. At least that is the theory.
I would check with the Medicaid people in FL - go to the state Web site and type in "aging." You also may want to go to www.ltcombudsman.org or click on Ombudsman on the state Web site. They may be able to help you sort this out. Your mom needs to be protected. The money can go to the state for that care, but she needs help. No wonder you are furious.
Please check these two sources, especially the Ombudsman. Let us know how you are doing.
Carol
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