Has anyone used sewn-in protective pads in the elders underwear as an alternative to adult diapers?

My Mother was incontinent and would only wear "always" maxi pads. These were not absorbent enough as time went on and her kidney function failed. She always refused to admit that she was incontinent because it was too embarrassing to discuss. For a short time she wore "Depends," but that was infrequent as it was psycologically easier for her to wear 2-3 maxi pads with wings. However, the pads were not absorbant enough. The depends worked better. When she developed her dilirium and she was on medication she would wear the depends. However, she soon refused to wear them, too. The only problem with the depends was, depending on what you were wearing, they were noisy when you walked. Depends worked, but she felt humiiliated. I learned to take extra pairs of underwear and slippers and socks and use the disposable and reusable incontinent pads on her wheelchair and the chairs where she sat. I also kept a commode close to her at home. The last years she refused to wear anything. To avoid her being upset, I just did a lot of laundry. When she had fecal incontinence she would cry because she was embarrased. I would clean her up and assure her that it was okay as it could happen to anyone.
It is difficult for people to accept what they cannot control and it is important to try and help them deal with it in a way that causes the least amount of humiliation. However, as a caregiver it is difficult. There are some things you just have to down play to help them keep their dignity. You just have to be careful to keep her clean, as it is easy to develop urinary tract infections that become recurrent. Symptoms may only be present for a day. One of the common side effects of the infection is a dilirium. Good luck to you. I hope this was helpful.

My mom wore maxi pads for a number of years. She was upset at having to begin using them after enjoying the "freedom" of menopause. They are much improved over those she used years ago. There are multiple sizes and absorbencies to choose from, some thin, some thicker and with adhesive strips for easy use. The new materials absorb liquids and leave a "dry" feel on the surface. This seemed to help prevent sores on moms skin too.