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DanG Asked March 2011

Now that both of my parents have passed, I feel alone and like I lost everything. Is this common?

My father committed suicide in 1985 when I was 16. My mother passed away February 10th, 2011 after a stroke as I held her hand in Hospice. After grieving for 25+ years over the tragic death of my Father I thought I was equipped to handle anything. I found out I am not. This seems to be getting harder and not easier. My sister and I just finished cleaning out her apartment last Friday. Maybe it's because I have been so busy with the details of finalizing everything after her death that I really never processed it? Someone told me in Hospice that she felt like an orphan after both her parents passed away. I laughed at the time. I totally understand now. I am married with 2 kids, extended family and friends and neighbors who all care about me but somehow I feel totally alone. Like I lost everything.

queeniva89 Apr 2011
Thank you Ted for commenting to Dan the truth. My husband went through the same thing when his mother died in his arms on hospice. Before her passing he lost his father, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and others he thought of as family. Losing his mother just took the cake for him. He felt and still feels as though he is an uprooted tree with no roots or home. Stay strong. Love the friends and family that you have around you. Use them to help heal you as time goes by. The pain of losing someone so close to your soul as a mother and dealing with the tragic death of your father may never leave your mind but knowing that people who are still alive and with you love you will make a difference. Stay strong. God bless you and yours.

anonymous14017 Mar 2011
Sure Dan, It is very common, and each one of us deals with the grieving of various losses in our own ways. Prolonged grieving can become disruptive to the other parts of your life though, and It might be a good idea to speak with a grief counselor to help guide you through these times, and help you to keep in mind the positive aspects of your family friends and all the other good things in your life that help to balance the hard times.
Stay strong.

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