When a solicitor came to the door my husband, with mild cognitive deficit, threatened to shoot him for not leaving. How can I handle this?

Nope. A person who is a danger to themselves and or others would be involuntarily committed for several days. A person in that condition can be involuntarily committed. Believe me, I've had to do it.

Cmagnum, that is a great idea. If my mom had been in better shape herself, perhaps she would have done that instead of wringing her hands and fretting and calling her children who were hundreds of miles away. 911, of course. But you're going to have your hands full when the police leave. You'd better make sure they leave with the arsenal.

The man is a danger to himself and to others. I would call 911 right now.

LADIES:

Loved your comments. ... In don't have any cognitive deficit (that I know of), but a couple of weeks ago I also threatened a few Hispanic Baptists with busting a cap in their a__ if they didn't leave the building.

The problem is that all these solicitors know when you're home. Sometimes they "clock" you and approach you on the street as if you've been friends forever. Like a bad pain, they don't go away that easily. Especially when you firmly tell them you're not interested.

So they buzz you from the lobby with "Police!;" or "Could you let me in? I forgot my keys." Or you're in the middle of an O__ and the doorbell rings ... and rings.

When my 3 pitbulls were alive, solicitors -- religious and otherwise -- referred to me as the Son of Satan or that "Crazy Puerto Rican." No one dared knock on my door, including the potheads and crackheads down the hall who hit the neighbors for 50 cents in the middle of the night so they could keep that high going.

I understand your husband Pat. ... Been there, done that. Do, however, follow up on these ladies' advice. It's right on point.

-- ED

If you ever think you are in this situation alone, all you have to do is hang out on this site long enough and you'll realize how many people can relate EXACTLY to what you're going through.

Toward the end of my father's life, he got progressively angrier and angrier. Looking back now, I realize that he probably had dementia along with a lot of other health problems.

One night he decided that he hated his cousin and was going to the bedroom in the back of the house to get a loaded gun and shoot him. When I was told this story, I just thought it sounded like something right out of a Jerry Springer episode. I couldn't even process it.

Thankfully, he was in a wheelchair and his cousin had time to get away. The next day my brother went into the house and took away every gun. I suppose if Dad had been more lucid, he would have figured out how to get another gun, but he wasn't and so he didn't. I have no idea how my brother got the guns without my dad having a stroke in his fury over the situation.

Another immediate option is to at least unload al the guns that are loaded, and then remove all the ammunition if you can get away wtih it. This is dangerous to you too - as judgement gets worse, if you make him mad (which will get harder and harder not to do) he could even decide to shoot you, as unthinkable as that probably sounds! This is so isolating for you, I'd bet that friends stopped coming because of his behavior and/or judgement. Absolutely stay in touch by computer and get out some yourself if you safely can...

You can get one of those signs that says, "We shoot every third salesman and the second one just left!" (sorry, it was there)

I'm personally getting a little tired of people/pesky salesmen trying to take advantage of the elderly (I'd probably offer to reload for your husband!) The dude should have left the first time he was asked to leave!

Just this week 3 customers have tried to take advantage of Mom at our shop.

2 women today could tell she has dementia and were deliberately, DELIBERATELY..., trying to confuse her, bombarding her with one question after another and not even letting her answer before zapping her with another. I almost told 'em to leave, but surprisingly Mom held her own! (this time)

I agree with GemG, local law enforcement will be a great help under these circumstances. I believe that it is a violation for someone with a mental impairment to own a firearm at least it is in the state of Ohio, we own a gunsmithing business and under the rules of our FFL liciense we can not sell or register a gun to anyone who is questionable. This does not mean that you are in any trouble, but I am sure if you explain the situation to local police they will be more than happy to help you to what is necessary to keep you and your family save. If the guns are valuable you may have the police remove them from the house and inquire about getting them to a dealer who would appraise them and/or possible find you a buyer. Sounds like you also need some kind of support system, we all do, and it's not always easy to seek help when you are upset or having a flood of emotions pouring over you. Speak to your doctor and contact some local agengies. Do Not try to go this alone. What he does can affect you even if he can't help the decisions he makes because of his illness. Being married to someone does not mean you need to give up being rational and taking care of yourself. His illness is progressive it will not get better you need to start putting together a care plan for yourself and for him. None of us ever think we will see love ones hit with a disease that we can not fix and yes as we get older things do change, but there are many ways to get help and learn to cope. This is wonderful site and I am so glad that you are willing to share your situation. Please stay in touch.

Call the Police and explain the situation. Your husband has a cognitive deficit that is getting worse, has guns in the house that are not locked up, threatened to shoot another person. You are unable to talk any sense to him on this subject.
Get the Police to intervene and remove the guns from your house.

I live in a unique retirement community. We are more or less following county rules and not city as they consider this private property (not gated). Anyway, signs just don't seem to work. We have a lot of Hispanic gardeners etc. and I don't think they understand English well. At least when you speak with them. As for answering the door, I usually do but this time was not in that part of the house. I usually tell them no and shut the door in their face. He doesn't hear well and I guess with dementia and all, according to him, he just got mad. Well, having guns in the house, which by the way, I am terribly afraid of, just makes matters worse. There are no trigger locks and they are not locked up. I have tried talking with him about all of this and it falls on deaf ears. He is going to do what he wants to do and that is that. I don't want anything to happen to anyone and I feel that until something does happen I don't have any help. All we do is get into a very heated argument when I bring this subject up. He has no outside friends and the few friends I have left don't come around. This is a very scary situation for me and I am just beside myself on what to do with out "rocking the boat." Thanks for your suggestions. I guess the Good Lord is watching out for me and I couldn't be more thankful. What I think about is what would happen if something would happen. I don't want to lose everything I own because he can't think straight. He says it wouldn't affect me if something did. Nope. I am married to him and everything is ours together. I never ever thought that I would see him like this but I guess things change over the years when we age and get all these terrible diseases.

Get a 'no soliciting' sign and put it by the doorbell. Then tell your husband that since it frustrates him so much having someone come to the door, that either you'll answer it, or you'll both just ignore it. I have the sign up, and for the most part it keeps salesmen away. The ones that still come to the door, I point out the sign and ask them if they can read.

First of all does your husband own a gun and is it the house and loaded. If so get it out of the house now! This is a no win situtation, safety first and fore most. That being said post signs that say NO TRESPASSING! Or put up a chain, rope or other tpye of stopper to get the point across. Can you talk with your husband about this type of sistuation if someone comes to the door and come up with a plan on how to hand it in the future. Or to you have a son or daughter old enough to speak with him, or maybe a friend of his that he respects. Please make sure that everyone stays safe while you figure this out.