My husband's 94 year old aunt, who
raised him after the death of his parents and has been Nana to our
children all these years, has stubbornly refused to let us help her over
the last few years. . Now we have learned that she has given
Financial POA and a Medical POA (my husband had this previously) over to
an attorney, who helped her set up a trust a few years ago. The
attorney has also brought in some home care to assist with cleaning,
shopping, laundry etc. While we are greatly relieved that she is
getting assistance, we know nothing about these people. You hear such
horror stories about elders being cleaned out by supposedly trusted
people, we're wondering how to monitor what the attorney & these
care givers are doing. We plan to visit regularly to see that the
actual assistance is being provided and that she is well, but on the
financial side how do we keep up on what is being spent and billed for.
She has a modest estate that from what we know is mostly in cash
accounts. Can we as family request an accounting of her expenses and
their bills?
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cdeh61, I would recommend reporting the attorney to your local and state Bar association. Some attorneys are good, and some are just criminals with a law license. Sounds like he needs to lose his license and go to jail. After your aunt is rid of him, you all can then get her the help that she needs. She definitely should not be living alone, as she is not able to manage her basic needs on her own. She needs to be in an ALF or a nursing home. Notice how the attorney who is legally responsible for her welfare is letting her wallow in filth and starvation. He is very likely going through all her money, and then not even providing for the most basic needs of her life, since he is a cruel, money-grubbing bastard who exploits elderly people and lets them starve to death and wallow in filthy, unsanitary conditions while he helps himself to their hard earned money. He should be publicly flogged and then thrown in jail. Ask yourself this question: if you were in your aunt's situation, what would you want your family to do? Reporting the attorney to the Bar association costs nothing, and that is a good first step. You should also make an appointment to tour a local ALF or nursing home, and don't be shy about telling the DON or administrator there the problem that you are dealing with. They will know how to help you.