My husband has Mild Congnitive Impairment which was diagnosed over two years ago. I have been dealing with a lot of things but at this time I need help and don't really know who to turn to. We have a dog who has been diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. I have been treating her now for two weeks. He doesn't trust the vet. Told me last night that if she dies he will kill me. I tried to ignore him as he has said things of this nature before. This time it really scared me. A little while later he said he would never hurt me. Then as usual as he does every night tells me he loves me. I was wondering if his dementia is progressing. He won't go back to the Neurologist or his PCP. He thinks he is OK. I see him declining everyday. Who should I ask for help? The Neurologist or the PCP? If I could find some help maybe we could trick him into getting to a doctor. I know he needs help and I do try but really don't know how far over the line I should step without causing any more problems than I already have.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I can't keep going on this way.
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If you google dementia related crimes you will get an eyeful.
Make you house a safety zone for you. Hide any weapons, knives, etc. He's demented and you have to stay way ahead of him in your thinking.
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. Awful.
And don't worry about clogging up the forum and just erase your browsing history every time in case that is an issue.......
We're here.
lovbob
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How about writing a letter addressed to both doctors, explaining that it is difficult to speak frankly from your home phone. Some clinics accept email; others don't. But the USPS snail gets through pretty reliably. Also ask for advice on how to get hubby to make and keep an appointment.
It is clear that something must be done for you, as well as for Allen. Starting with the medical folks will help you know a little better what you are facing and what you need to plan for. I would also get Social Services involved. Find out what resources are available in your area. If you are afraid of your husband's temper when you discuss these things, would having someone there with you (a friend or a professional, like a social worker) keep things calmer? Do not put yourself in danger, and do not hesitate to call 911 if necessary.
You sound like a take-charge person. I'm sure you'll manage some improvements, one way or another. Hang in there!
Thanks for the hugs and I'm sending you some as well. And, as they say when things get tough, the tough get going.
I've read a few lines about your husband, I've never laid eyes on him, and I wouldn't be qualified to diagnose him it I did. But I'm with you in wondering if that mild cognitive impairment is getting a little less mild. MCI doesn't always progress into full-scale dementia, but it does often enough for you to be on alert. Getting some help sooner rather than later is good. But how? I think starting with a doctor who has his medical history is appropriate. The Neurologist may be better qualified to diagnose and treat different forms of dementia. But I would also consider the kind of relationship (if any) that your husband has with these doctors. Is he any more apt to listen to one than the other? Perhaps you could contact them both and see what they suggest.
You have lived with MCI a couple of years. How are things different now? I suggest starting a notebook to jot down "odd" changes in behavior or cognitive ability. It will be good to be able to talk in specifics when you do see a doctor. Does your husband take any medicines? You might note how regularly he takes them, and if there is any difference on days he takes than days he skips them. Same with amount of sleep he gets, and exercise. Collect any clues that may help evaluate this puzzle.
Sooner is better than later. There is no cure for dementia, but some symptoms can be treated for a much better quality of life, especially in the early stage. So starting in the early stage makes sense. Get the maximum benefit!
Again, hugs to you dear Patricia. Come back and let us know how you are doing.