We gave my sister money to renovate her house so that mom could live there, but she was evicted after 3 months and my sister used the money to pay her bills. How can we get our money back?

Thank you for your response, Ed! It added some levity to an otherwise dire situation. I will certainly keep everyone posted!

MESS:

Take her to Judge J---. Knowing she's going to appear in court -- and TV -- might scare her enough to return the money she had no business spending.

Keep us posted. ... Inquiring minds want to know.

-- Ed

Thanks again for all of your words of wisdom, italianbabs. This has not been easy on the whole family but the one shining light is Mom!

Well then I guess you are justified in what you think and rightfully so. Mom is the most important part of the scenario and it's good that she knows what money she has now. It's hard to watch them being taken advantage of and not knowing the truth about their finances as they trust so much. Go after her then and best of luck. I'm sure Protective Services will help you. :)

Hi italianbabs..thank you for your kind words....we actually were willing to talk to older sister many times and she refused to talk to us until "her affairs were in order" and she refused to take her name off of Mom's accounts..so that made us suspicious...until we saw more than one year's worth of bank statements, we were willing to talk to her to make sure that she and her husband weren't having financial difficulties and all would have been fixed...but her refusal to talk to us and looking at the past 8 years of bank records tells us that Mom was her money train...and the worst part is Mom only thought she had limited funds each month! when we took over and put her as sole owner on her account was she able to see and realize that she does have more than enough each month....Older sister is and always will be spiteful and revengeful..she always has been. So, unfortunately, there is no reason for all of the money being taken...especially since there was no permission given from my Mom. At this time, Mom does not want to speak to or see her and neither do the rest of us...may I add that older sister evicted Mom from her home on April 11(5 days after Mom's birthday) but conveniently withdrew $1,200 just days before....and, never called Mom for Easter, Mother's day or to even check on her...and she accuses us of not loving Mom and caring about her..sorry to ramble on...:) one more point, Mom only lived with older sister for approx. 6 months before getting evicted and was being "charged" $400.00 per month for rent. So, no financial hardship for older sister due to Mom living there.

So glad to help. This website is what helped me and I'm glad to pay back to those in need. God Bless you all and the truth will always prevail. My mom does not speak to my sister anymore and neither do I. She will have to answer to a greater power one day . It's unfortunate that her hard heart will not let her make amends to her mother and spend precious time with her in the last years of her life. Hopefully even though you are all mad at your sister you can find forgiveness in your heart and help her. I've been in your sister's shoes and had to borrow money from my mom when my husband was ill and that is why my sister hid all my mothers money. It was done out of spite and revenge and not the best interest of mom. Please take a hard look at what your sister did. In my case we were on the verge of losing everything and most of all our home and mom lives with us. My sister never gave us a cent for the care of my mother and we just could not survive without mom's financial help during that rough patch. There may be reasons you are unaware of so before you judge, have all the facts. We are all entitled to forgiveness and we are human and make mistakes. Good Luck and keep us posted.

Hi GemG....that may have to happen for sure..especially since all the money we invested in the renos(over $5,000) for our Mom(who was evicted) has upped the value on their home!

Can a lien be put on your sister's house until the debt is repaid?

Oh my goodness, italianbabs! that is exactly what we are doing! :) we are working with a wonderful lady who calls herself a "pitbull" for elders rights and she has been awesome! we have also obtained seven years of bank records and will be pouring over them this weekend. The elder abuse team has only seen one year(last year) so far and they said "theft" right away. After all, my 83 year old, Italian speaking Mom doesn't do internet banking, email money transfers and withdrawals of up to 500.00 at a time...I'll will keep you updated on our progress! thank you so much for your response. It's a great comfort!

Contact your local department of aging and protective services. They will investigate for free on behalf of financial explitation of your mom. Just had them do this with my sister and my mom got her money back. It is worth the phone call to them to see if you have a case. They look through all the bank statments and whatever your sister used the money for. She will have to account for it all. Please don't hesistate as it really does work and don't let you sister take advantage of your mom.

Thank you for your responses coach and agecare222. We figure we may not see our investment in the renovations but we are willing to fight for the money older sister has taken from mom's account over the last seven years...and it's alot!!!! Then, Mom can use it for herself! We told her that at 83 years of age, she has a new job...to spend her money on herself. And coach, you are so right when you say to "focus on Mom". We are doing just that and she is happy!

HIRE YOU A LAWYER RIGHT AWAY. THE POLICE CANNOT DO THAT MUCH FOR YOU.

You may want to just kiss the money goodbye. To collect, I believe you would have to take your sister to court. If this is the case the only ones who come out ahead will be the attorneys. It will most likely cost you moe than the 5k already lost. This sad story has a happy ending. The 6 of you should focus on Mom and make sure her final years are the very best they can be. Good luck to all of you and may God bless.

thanks again, Jeanne! you are so right! The money was never as important to us as it was to older sister......we are just so happy to see mom happy and healthy and living life! Have an amazing day!

Aside from the money, this story has a happy ending! Good luck on the money -- and celebrate the more important vicory.

thanks for your response, jeannegibbs...it has been a roller coaster for sure but my Mom is doing well....in fact, she is vacationing with my 3 brothers for the summer who live in a different province...she's having a blast...in fact, although my sister tried t have her delcared incompetent, the doctor at first agreed then recanted when he saw her a few months later(after living with my other sister who has taken amazing care of her)..Older sister tried to tell us that our Mom is severely demented and is spiralling quickly...oh the drama! we had her eharing checked(an app't older sister cancelled) and it turns out she has hearing loss...good news is that she now has a hearing aid and her whole demeanor has changed....she's bright, smiling and happy and fully aware of everything!

How very, very sad!

There have been a couple of very high profile fraud cases in our state this past year, involving millions of dollars. Many small investors had their entire life savings wiped out. Fraud is theft. Theft victims don't always get their money or their possessions back. Sad.

You have a lawyer you trust. If there is a way to get some of your mother's mispent money back, or money returned to you siblings, he should know how to go about it.

It is amazing that of 7 kids all raised by the same parents, 6 are willing to contribute to the comfort of their mother by paying for renovations and 1 is willing to take financial advantage of the entire family.

Be thankful that this came to a head before more damage was done to your mother, psycologically as well as financially. Where is your mother living now?

thanks naheaton....actually my Mom knows everything and is very happy to be out of there...this all came to light because my Mom told us my sister was yelling at her, telling her she could no longer care for hersel(not true) and cannot manage her money by herself. So, she had my mom scared....my mom is 82 years old and speaks little English....but, we found a wonderful Italian lawyer who explains everything to her....so far, older sister has been taken off of Mom's bank account(she is sole owner of her own account) and no longer has POA...thank you for you kind comments and we will see this through to the end. Also, for a bit more background, we have 7 years of bank records now and it looks like my sister has been living off of my Mom's money for a lot longer than we thought and has possibly hid it from her husband and kids(none of whom are speaking to us)

Six out of seven kids that actually care about their mom's welfare sounds pretty darn good to me. It sounds like you're all doing the best you can and are of the same mind, so just keep up doing what you're doing I guess. But I would count the money your sister owes the family as gone. I know it's a bummer and not right, but trying to get it back may be more trouble then it's worth. If your mom finds out about the money and sees all the conflict it's causing with her kids, it may cause her more grief and just not be worth it.