He is very mad at me because I moved him from arizona to california into an assisted living. (A top of the line one) He hates it because he says everyone is too old. He changed the poa from me to his ex girlfriend who hates me.He is now threatening to call the police because he says i stole everything and wants to move back to arizona from california. My hands are tied.
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Take care of yourself,
Carol
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My guess is that this is the pattern he has used with family forever - petty and vindictive. If this is the case, and you think he will take you to court, then please go to see an elder care attorney so you have someone at the ready to represent you. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Whatever the case, please take the time to write down a time-line of what you did and your concerns for dad (eg went to Dad's house 1/15 gas was on in kitchen; 2/1 Dad called upset that mail was being opened by neighbors; 6/10 XYZ sent letter about unpaid bill Dad refuses to pay).
long and involved, when it is a total surprise that u r removed as POA- it is like a slap in the face-no more than that- abusive- and disrespectful, mean and a disperate need to control- . it certainly doesnt show any concern about the parent involved-how is that a demonstration of what is best for your parent-frustrating and
it can destroy u-
we must take care of ourselves-try to figure what our main concerns are-
and if they are realistic--i imagine your family is like mine- and the surving ones are still
fighting old battles, hearing old tapes in our head,as we heard when we were little-
and hopefully at some point,we mature and are able to at least try to accept this is
for what it is- and that is not going to be a fair ,
there must be some way when we finially can grow into a place where all that anger
and hurt can be put in its place, and not destroy or rule the person who u are-
love and patience- cry and smash pilows- sometimes it helps, i send u millions of hugs . i know how u feel, im still trying to figure this one out- this site is the best-
these guys know from experience and are loving and gives hope,.
keep posting- love k
The reason I asked about probate is that MERP (Medicaid Estate Reinbursement or Repayment or Recoup Program - the name varies by the state) does this through probate in most states. My mom is now on Medicaid (in TX) and upon her death MERP will file their claim in probate court. I've been executrix twice before but this was before MERP was in force, so those probates were different.
So for your mom, if I got this correct, she owed the "state" 80K (or was it $800K??) for what the state reinbursed the NH for. The 80K was whatever was the difference in what her personal resources paid (like her SS checks, annuity, whatever you all paid privately) and what the billed costs ($ 80K) - were. (Yes I know these are just so overinflated, it makes you want to scream but that's another topic...). So a lien was placed on her only tangible asset - her home. The house was owned by her free & clear and in her name only and was probably appraised at over $ 300,000K. Or was is much higher, 500K...700K?
She was admitted to the NH after 2005 or 2006, right?? - before that MERP was not required by the feds for the states to do.
Is this pretty accurate?
If you don't mind me asking, was the lien placed by the State of NY; the State of NY and the specific NH or just the NH? Or was it done by a law firm? The firm would be a contractor hired by the state to do recoup - the papers might not read that they are a state contractor. How did you find out there was a lein? Were you able to negotiate the amount "owed"?
I'm trying to figure out how states are doing MERP, what is the $ amount triggers MERP to act and the timeframe that things are done and if they negotiate. Each state does this differently. Like in TX if the house is over 500K in value, they can't go on Medicaid - the house HAS to be sold to qualify or be appraised at under 500K; while in other states $ 750K is the maximum value for the home other states have no ceiling on the home's value. In TX, MERP sends out a letter within 10 days of getting a letter from the state vital data registry to whomever is listed as the responsible party on the NH resident info sheet that MERP recoup will happen against the deceased estate. Then you have 30 - 45 days to respond with a list of whatever expenses you have spent on the deceased home with receipts. Then MERP decides whether to persue the recoup claim. It seems that if it's under 100K in recoup, no MERP.
MERP is pretty, new maybe 5 years for most states. It seems that it's only recently that states have been going after recoup. I don't know if this is due to states not having as much revenue OR states have outsourced doing this so law firms are now doing this aggressively OR just what. I'm just trying to figure this out.
Appreciate any more insight and details you can give on this. Thanks.
Was it that you had to go to probate to get it transferred from her name? Did she die without a will or was the will contested? Did the property have issues of clear title left over.....like from when she owned it with your dad and he preceeded her in death? Did the house have a lein on it? I'm just curious.....thanks.
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