My mom has a mental disorder and is a liability to my property. How do I ask my mother to leave the house I own if we have no formal rental agreement?

Shedrick 1032: You're not the owner of the property. Ownership involves a Deed or another form of Conveyance. You are a renter. As long as you are in residence, you should pay the $500.00 in rent. If the arrangement is uncomfortable for you, you could find another home to rent.

Shedrick, many people who have never had a mental problem in their lives pay rent or room and board to family members they live with. It sounds like a mutually beneficial arrangement. Your rent has enabled your daughter to own a home and give her children stability. This is not always easy or even possible for single moms. And it has given you a place to live surrounded by family love for a reasonable price. Unless there were some promises made that you haven't mentioned, this all seems above board and logical to me.

And congratulations on your recovery.

Shedrick, I am glad to hear you are recovering and how nice that you have family to back you up!!

My personal opinion is that technically you are paying your daughter rent. If you don't have the responsibility and obligation to contribute to the property taxes, the utilities, the property insurance and the maintenance on the home and are not legally named on the deed, you are not a "co-owner." It would probably be more expensive for you to be a co-owner so be glad that you are able to rent and not have all the other expenses that go with home ownership.

Good luck to you and take care!

I am a recovering mental patient on SSI. I have been living with my only daugther and two grandchilred for the last six years. Ever since I moved in I have been giving here a total of $500 a month which for rent or mortage. Now that we have stayed in the home for the five years to not to have pay back the loan on the down payment, beginning of this year my daughter wantsme to still give her $500 a month. Since my income from SSI has been included for her mortage payment, why I am not included as co-owner? What are my legal rights in this situation? Please help feel I have no rights because of my past mental problems.

its called the Adult Abuse line. Tell them your story. remember, you are an adult too.

Why not tell your mother that she needs to move out, possibly to AL so that you can rent out the room to someone because you are financially in need? Give her sufficient time to move. If she doesn't do it on her own, take her to an ALF and make clear that you have a date in mind for her to move out. Sometimes one has to take the lead to move a parent forward to their next life transition step. It won't be easy, but you need to make clear to her that your financial situation requires you to take action sooner rather than later. Whatever you do, good luck to you!

I just rented a 5x5 room at a self-storage to safeguard some of my stuff. I felt it was necessary due to my Mom's history of throwing stuff away and careless cooking habits.

I've also labeled the circuit breakers for the stove and oven and turn them off whenever I have to leave the house for any length of time.

Oh, NAMI is not the only one out there. The Mental Health Association in your state and county might have some resources too.

You could have her committed to a mental facility.( Mild to Moderate care). I do not like "Group Homes".
You didn't say how old she is, how old you are, and if there are any other people to consider. If her house does sell, she will have to sign the Agreement For Sale and the Closing Statement. Since you do not want POA, someone else will have to do it. You need help, dear.

I recommend getting some type legal opinion. My cousin had similar problem with her Mother and did not step up to the plate. A previous neighbor of her Mother knew of the situation and took legal action and the Mother ended up in nursing home and neighbor gained medical/financial control, which included sale of her house, bank account, social security, etc. The daughter was denied visitation rights and this went on for years until Mom died. Be aware that there is always someone willing to take advantage of these type situations especially if there is money to be gained.

If you pursue an involuntary commitment, you will probably need to prove that she is at risk to be a harm to herself or others. Maybe she falls asleep with her cigarettes? If she has dementia, this might be easier to prove. Has she had a Mini Mental Status Evaluation? Your area on aging or physician might be able to provide this. Another thing that you might want to think about is not taking her back after a hospitalization. The hospital social worker would then have to find a safe discharge for her. Since NAMI couldn't help, you might want to call both your Area on Aging, as well as the Alzheimer's Association. Hope that helps!!

Stacey, I'm so sorry for all that you are dealing with for your Mom. Maybe you could check into a "group home" situation for her where someone else is responsible for her every day care. They would also handle her finances and you would know that she is fed and safe. In my cousins case in Michigan, the court provided a legal guardian to oversee her needs. It has been my experience that group homes especially like residents who have their own income. When my cousin (with psycho-effective disorder) was in a group home a few years ago, they charged $1600/month which was paid for by the State of Michigan. If your mother has that type of income, it would go toward the group home and they would give her an allowance of personal money to pay for her cigarettes, etc. and I think they dole out cigarettes a few at a time.
Maybe you could make a phone call to a group home in your area and get a few answers from them to tell you how to get the ball rolling. Good luck to you and God Bless you for all you've done for your Mom. I'm sure it has not been easy!

I am so sorry to hear how weak your state's mental health system is and how limited your state NAMI is. They can't even give you the name of someone who has a loved one like your mom? My goodness, at least they could help you not feel so alone. Ours can give out information for a Crisis Intervention Mobile unit to come to your house and sometimes suggests as well as helps with involuntary commitment which your mother sounds like she needs and you can get orders for from a magistrate.

Thank You for your input. NAMI has not had any real suggestions, I feel like I am calling everyone and telling a sad story(reliving it)over and over again. People will listen, but I can't find a gentle way to intervene. I have called Adult Protection Services. Nothing. She is a tragedy waiting for completion. My heart aches, yet I am not able to reach her. I have spoke to a Realtor about the house. Maybe it will sell. It is 2/3rds paid for, with alot of improvements. She really thinks she is sane though, and I am out to get her. It is also Dementia, I am sure. I can't even be around her to go to a doctor, she insists on driving(I am Scared) and I smell funny, fresh out of the shower.I am in Tennessee.

I don't know where you live, but since your mother has a mental illness, I would go to nami.org and look up your state and give them a call. If they are like the NAMI in my state, they will have a knowledgeable person who can point you in some helpful directions. NAMI stands for National Alliance on Mental Illness. It sounds to me like your mother will end up loosing her house to the bank. I wish you well.