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FrankieS Asked August 2011

If elderly parent has joint account only with one child, will other children be disinherited from those accounts?

I found this info on the internet.

Disinheriting other beneficiaries - If the original owner adds one child to an account but has other children they want to inherit the account, then by adding one and not all of the children's names the owner will have effectively disinherited all of the other children. And even if the surviving joint owner agrees to give the other children their fair share of the account, care must be taken to avoid any gift tax consequences.

EXPERT Ralph Robbins Aug 2011
That is correct.

anonymous14017 Sep 2011
I have to jump in here...

My father always insisted that EVERYTHING would be divided equally among his children, He was adamant about this, -specifically to avoid the pain we are discussing here. His Will explicitly backs this up.

However, for convenience sake, he added my sister's name to his account as "Joint Tenant With Right of Survivorship" (so she claims -but will not allow me to verify without a court compelled accounting), leaving me out completely.

His accounts were fairly large.

To make matters worse, I am sole caregiver for our mom, who is NOT a part of the estate (divorce) and I desperately need my share to continue to care for mom at home, I get NO help at all from my sister or anybody, and the frustration of having to try and give mom the best possible care on her small budget alone, while knowing that I should have so much cash coming to me is starting to have a bad effect on my role as caregiver, it makes it all so much more difficult and heart-breaking than it already is or than it has to be.
What was intended as a loving gift that my father was so proud to be able to give to me has become an infuriating, hurtful, frustrating and crazy-making burden due to my sister’s petty greed.

I will continue to slog through with mom's quality of life as my priority, and try to put the pain of the problems with dad's estate aside. I just can’t afford, financially, mentally, or emotionally, to face a long, expensive painful court process right now, but I do plan to proceed against my sister as soon as I can, if only to stand up for myself and my rights, and to defend my father’s final wishes.

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jeannegibbs Aug 2011
You know, sometimes it is refreshing to have a parent living at the poverty line. One of the 7 kids is on Mom's checking account. We are all glad she is handling this and straightening duplicate payments and payments in arears out when she took over paying the bills.

We figure that if there is enough in the account when mom dies, Sis can take us all to a nice restaurant. Otherwise we'll go to MacDonalds and raise our plastic Coke cups in a toast to a great mom.

Mom "loans" money to the brother who is disabled. All the rest of us are glad we don't need that kind of help, and we'd never expect him to repay the loans. The amounts are small, to get him out of pinch when his car breaks down, etc. She is not supporting him -- she couldn't affort to.

None of us have ever expected to inherit anything, except items of sentimental value. The more I read these forums, the more I am very, very glad about that.

palmtrees1 Aug 2011
I wish my Mom could read this. She has my brother on her checking account and at one time had up to 80K in it. I explained to her by doing this she has given him all of the money in this. And to solve this put both of us on it or have it set up to become part of her estate upon her death. She just blew me off and acted like I should be ashamed to not trust my brother. She doesn't want me on her accounts because she thinks I want money (not one ounce of truth there). She also made him her POA, executor of the will and just about everything else. At first I was hurt but the more I read on this site the more I am glad to not be involved with these two coconuts. I will do what I have been included in, very little. Sometimes i read about all the anger people have at siblings who "won't help", but sometimes there are those of us who have been good kids, no expense to their parents and no trouble, ever. And we get treated like crap. So we keep our distance, we have to.

Labs4me Aug 2014
I was joint on my mother's checking account, DPOA and when she died, the Executor of the state. When everything was done, I made sure everthing was split evenly to include the joint checking account. My sisters and I inherited $70,000 a piece. Right now that money is just sitting in a savings account and I haven't touched it. It makes me ill knowing that the money is there, but not my mother. Squabbling over what is fair and not fair or what due rights you have to a future inheritence is unconscionable. A human being is not a bargaining chip to what is fair or not fair or how future assets can be divided up upon their death.

Labs4me Aug 2014
All I know is I honored my mother's wishes and the terms of her will. Whether they were probatable or not. She wanted her family whole in her passing and I made d*mn sure it happened.

palmtrees1 Aug 2011
NoVoice, I will make sure Mom spends down her's. Especially if my brother is in control of everything. He and his family are so "busy" they really pay her very little attention. So assisted living will eat a big hole in her money and a nursing home. She a very healthy 81. I am stubborn and won't be taken advantage of.

littletonway Aug 2014
Oh good grief, my name was on everything Mom had. Never ever ever entered my mind not to split everything 4 ways. It didn't matter who did what or didn't do what. I will never understand some people. Legal and what is right are two different things and God help those who do not know the difference.

FrankieS Aug 2011
madge1 - I TOTALLY understand EXACTLY where you are, because my older sister and I are in the EXACT same spot. It's nice to know others are in the same situation. I just hate the part that when Mom dies, my younger sister will automatically get everthing. Will she do the 'right thing' and split it with our older sister and me? Who knows..... try not to think about that

lsmiami Aug 2014
I tried to get sis on mom's account, but she could not make the time to go to the bank and provide her signature. I watch out for bills, taxes, legal stuff and simple medical. Mom is still independent, but bored so sis invites her over on weekends. There is a will, but, with one or not, I would never think to do anything other than what they wished. Pay bills, sell remaining assets, split profits, and like Jeanie, by the time all is said and done, we may be toasting at MacDonalds.

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