I ask this question because I have been seriously thinking about it for quite a while now.
My dad recently had a stroke and while he is doing okay, he still cannot be left alone, and he still needs to do her exercises and what have you. I am quite sorry this happened to him, but ever since it occurred my stress levels have gone through the roof, and lately situations at home have gotten pretty bad. Because of all this I think it is time for me to leave home. Yes, I do work (even though I am currently on leave because of my dad's condition), I pay my own credit card bills, and I have experienced what it is like to live alone, even if it was just for three weeks. I know there is a lot more to being out on my own. Aside from that I've found that I can handle myself better when I am alone than with my parents. I've lived with my parents for a long time, it can be nice, or it can be the total opposite. Nowadays, when I bring up the subject, my dad has said that I can go anywhere I want, so I am taking that as permission to leave. The only cons, of course, are that I don't have a car (yet) and my license, though I am working on that right now.
I probably sound horrible but I am just emotionally drained right now. My mum is planning to go back to work in the coming days/weeks, which would leave me at home with my dad, at least until October, because that is when my leave is up. Asking this question may sound foolhardy but quite honestly I don't think my dad wants me to be at home anymore. So it is probably better for my well being and mental health that I leave. What do you think?
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So I got my licence last Thursday (which I am pretty happy about, honestly speaking), but I'm a bit frustrated because I can't drive the largest of my dad's cars. My mum usually drives the small one, and now that she's working, she's using it most of the time. I don't mind driving the small car, but the fact that she is driving it a great deal is obviously a huge problem. I'm a bit nervous about driving a big car, but I have driven it before in the past and I survived, lol. So, what do you think? Do you think that my parents are concerned about me, because it's a bigger car?
I may be worrying unnecessarily but I've been thinking about what is going to happen after my leave ends and I have to go back to work (not that I would mind, honestly). As said before, my mum went back to work a little while ago and that leaves me to make sure my dad is doing okay. This isn't a problem, really, I don't mind that at all, as I do care about his well-being and such.
But when I do go back to work, I know things will definitely be different. For one thing, my mum and I will have to try to coordinate our schedules together, although I've a tiny feeling that might not happen. But we'll see. And if both of us do happen to work on the same day, and at the same times, then someone else will have to step in and take care of Dad while we are both at work. Of course this isn't a huge issue, but if other local family members aren't available (a big if) then we may have to call in a nurse to come in, and I am sure some of my family members may be opposed to that. But the fact of the matter is, he shouldn't be left alone, and I sure wouldn't want him to be left alone, especially for long periods of time. I will admit, my mum and I have left him alone in the house...but only for short periods of time. Not that we don't invite him to come with us. But most of the time he won't. And most of the time he'll be fine, he isn't the type to undertake risky behaviour. Yeah, I know we're both breaking a sacred rule here.
But he is doing okay, and improving bit by bit. Whenever we're by ourselves and my mum is working, he usually take it upon himself to be useful in the kitchen again (with me watching obviously). I taught him to use the stove, and he has cooked on the stovetop twice, with successful results. Also, he is doing his exercises more.
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Well, technically I am on leave until October 21...but I can come back to work earlier if I so wish and if it is also possible. That is kind of what I am aching to do but for now other relatives are suggesting that I stay at home with Dad while my mother is working, which I have no problems with, really. I've also decided to put aside money and stop the unnecessary spending (though it is easier said than done, as I am a spendthrift). And speaking of money...lately I've been thinking of ways that I can earn money (no matter how little it is, I'm not picky) and I have come up with a few ways, such as babysitting in the area I live in and maybe even submitting a bit of my writing and/or poetry to literary magazines and contests. Not sure if those are good ideas, but I am trying to be resourceful here.
And as for moving out...it is still on my to-do list but I don't plan on doing so anytime soon. For now, I will need to save up money, as well as get the things I would need together, etc. Also, since this is my first time moving out I would need to start looking for a roommate and apartment in the meantime as well.
I have to admit, when it comes to taking care of myself I kind of lag. Although I put work into facial care, I have dealt with insomnia for years, which is kind of a handicap, and my diet can be quite unhealthy. So basically I do need to make more of an effort when it comes to taking care of myself.
Is there another creative solution to help you manage your responsibilities? Can you stay with friends 2-3 days a week to get some "you" time? Can you carve out more independence while living with them? Take over another room that is your sanctuary? Spend more time away from the house? (assuming that you, your father and your mother create a weekly routine together so that your father is safe & cared for.)
There are many good things that you can do to manage stress and anxiety in the mean time - make sure you get good sleep, get physical exercise, journal, eat healthy, spend time with friends. These are all proven effective, and it sounds like you need to take care of yourself starting today.
Please keep us posted.
My opinion depends on your age.
If you are 16, what's your hurry?
If you are 22, sure, it is time to develop more independence. Go for it?
If you are 35, why on earth do you need our opinions?
If you do move out on your own, don't get so wrapped up in the newness of it all that you forget that Dad and Mom can still use your support, even if they don't need your full time presence.
Good luck!